themagdalenespirit

Love at the Door

2008-11-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

UPS came to the door an hour ago. (I'm off today because I worked Saturday.) It was a small package addressed to me. This was inside:

The bracelet you see dangling from my tiny wrist sports SHINING LIKE STARS and Philippians 2:15 (which reads "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe"). These bracelets were handed out at the big Sunday service in Arizona on the last day of the retreat. I saw Nathan from above (I was sitting in balcony seats) and followed him. It was kind of a mob scene for the glow-in-the-dark bracelets and he said, "I can get you one. I'll give it to you when you come back down." (I had told him I needed to go back up to make sure I didn't lose track of my ride.) Well, it took forever so when I did come down, he was gone or I couldn't find him. He told me later on that he got me one but didn't see me and didn't want to hang on to two of them because they were short on them so he gave it to someone. He also said he didn't wear his, though it was a special memento and it just hung on his wall.

The box also had a card in which lovely thoughts were expressed. You should see my face! I bet I look really goofy.....

Sweet Squeeze

2008-11-15T17:27:00.000-08:00

Wore the purple dress again today, exactly a week later. We had our annual "Thanksgiving" Foster Parent Appreciation Luncheon today. The dress was a smash hit and the event kind of flew by. Sometimes it seems interminable.

What is really going to be interminable are the next three months because that's at least how long I've got to wait until I see Nate again, since he's going to Virginia to see his dad and stepmom for his vaction (which had already been planned). He's now looking at February as the earliest time he can get out here. He said he'd like to be here for Valentine's Day and when I asked what he wanted to do here, he said, "Spend quality time with Wendy." I'm all for that! He is definitely a good friend to be around.

Actually, a good friend of mine said to me last night that she has family in Arizona and that if she goes over there to see them I can come along. I said Sure, when? And she said, "For Thanksgiving." While that's a very tempting offer, seeing him twice in one month, I wonder if it would be overkill? I'd have to feel that one out, don't want to make him feel chased after. I don't have this anticipation about it because I have a feeling she probably won't even go. But she did say she'd like to take me there and meet him, if not now then in January. So I may see him pretty soon yet! Meanwhile, we'll just continue calling and texting and writing letters. I got one from him next day after I got back and he had written that my being there was for him like "a surprise birthday party or Christmas in November." How sweet! For me it was like a warm hug. Oh, and thank you God! Thanks for all my warm hugs.....

Back Again

2008-11-09T22:18:00.001-08:00

Just got back from Arizona. I had a really good time and just as I predicted, it was very hard to say goodbye to Nathan.

For anyone who does not know the story, he's someone I met at our church's Singles retreat this year. We had it in Arizona this time. He has lived there most of his life, though he was born in Japan due to his dad being in the Air Force and he also lived in other parts of the country briefly. His grandmother is Hawaiian but he's never been there. He's a very quiet and reserved person. I don't mind.

We don't really have a great deal in common but as I told one of his friends this weekend (one of the women I stayed with), I realized that it was silly to look for someone exactly like myself. I said, "Do I really love myself that much that I need to be with someone exactly like me?" I've learned a lot from Nathan. Of course, though I just finished typing about "being with someone" I am in no way implying that we are some kind of item. We are still just friends. That's actually okay. No matter what happens I am just quite glad and very honored to have met him and become his friend. He's certainly one of the kindest people I've ever met. And I found out this weekend that he's very loved and appreciated by a lot of people! They all kept telling me what a "good guy" he is, how caring and how deep. I was very moved by all they had to say because it showed me all the more that he's a great guy.

Back to Sunny Arizona

2008-11-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm headed for McCain country. Sort of, anyway....I'm off to Arizona tomorrow at noon- God willing- and today I have spent time preparing. I went to get a manicure and pedicure and the flat-screen TVs at the nail spa had CNN on. There was a lot of celebrating going on today, including in Obama, Japan, where people apparently supported Preside-Elect Obama for no other discernable reason than his name. (I was certainly glad to have been a part of making history!)

Apparently it's still quite warm in Arizona. I am going with my friend Heather and her boyfriend Diego. They are staying in different houses from one another, needless to say (since they are Christians), but I am staying in yet another household myself. Two of my sisters-in-Christ whom I've never met are putting me up for a few days. They live closer to my friend Nathan and he is, after all, the reason I am going at all. When we get to Arizona on Thursday, he's meeting us and I will probably go with him to his Bible study group, which meets Thursday nights. I'm not sure if I will have a chance to change or not. Since we're driving out there I plan to be very comfortable, probably in either denim capris or an oversized Superman t-shirt I just got from Nick.

Friday I will probably alone most of the day. Everyone will be at work. That night, however, I will don my brand-new purple Esley dress I got in Little Tokyo and Heather, Diego, Nathan and I will go to a mixer. I know there's an art walk and I am not sure what else is in the plan. Saturday Nathan will pick me up around noon and we will go to a festival with hot air balloons and food and entertainment. We will also have dinner on that night. Saturday is our date. Sunday, of course, is church. I will be going to Nathan's church service and because Heather is staying an hour away she will attend our church's services in that area. At some point we will meet up....I'm not sure who is driving me or picking me up for this. Maybe Nathan will drive me. I just know parting will be hard. Ah, well. I am not sure what the future holds but I know that we cherish each other's friendship.

Yesterday

2008-10-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the world got a little darker.

Yesterday, one of the most special people to ever live departed this world.

Yesterday, a woman who helped raise me and a lot of other people who benefitted from her pure love, died at age 93.

She was unmarried and had no physical children. Though she died a virgin she actually had several "children", me included.

I couldn't do her justice by attempting to write about her. There is nothing I can really say to illustrate how bright her light shined. I just know she taught me about selfless love, about kindness and gentleness, about charity and her convictions about serving and worshipping God have shaped my own spirituality.

Yesterday I lost a piece of my soul by the name of Aura Estella "Estelita" Santos.

Still Sunny in September

2008-09-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a laid-back sort of day today, and that's kind of boring. I have half a mind to go someplace but don't really have any ideas. Mr. Julie seems antsy and is fighting with invisible enemies. Or maybe there's a bug there I can't see.

I had breakfast with a friend, which I totally enjoyed. She had lots to say, lots to teach me by way of her own experiences. I was glad she decided to work on building our friendship because we're not very close. I also had lunch with two of my brothers and one of them treated. Sushi, yay!

I have things to do tomorrow, namely ushering at our church's special Men's Day event. I get to dress up. Actually, I just remembered I don't have a white blouse to wear! I'd better go look for one or go buy one at Target.

I talked to my friend in Arizona for a couple of hours in the backyard with the birds chirping gaily and butterflies fluttering about. And no, I'm not making that up, that's really how it was.

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

2008-09-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

Last week something happened which affected me emotionally because it had to do with my family. I was very depressed about it and my immediate reaction was that I shouldn't even go to church anymore because I felt that I was obviously not growing spiritually, that I was still this wretch of a sinner.

Still, I went that Sunday. Sure, I left right away. But I also read the Bible regardless of how I felt and all the doubts that swirled in my heart and mind. I made sure to tell people how I was feeling and ask for their help. I also went to church on Thursday. By Saturday things had very much settled down not only in that aspect (with my family) but also I had stopped feeling doubtful and was resolved to stay in church. The great thing is I had arranged to meet with a friend from church (a "sister in Christ") who unbeknownst to me was going through almost exact cirmcumstances and struggles with family. I was very encouraged to know it wasn't just me and that I could overcome this. She was very generous in her words of encouragement to me. Later that day I also got together with my best friend from church and she also had kind words for me and praised my willingness to work on my character and not give up (and my honesty about wanting to).

All in all I came out of it feeling better than ever. And today at church I was even more encouraged when a sister I don't know well at all approached me about wanting to really build a friendship with me and saying that she knew she could learn from me because I've been faithful for nearly 10 years. So we're having breakfast Saturday barring her having to work. I am very happy that God saw to it that I received these special gentle words and also that I resolved something with two other dear friends, one of whom I haven't seen in a long time and I worry about a great deal. He has really shown me how much He cares even when I think all is lost.

Also, I have been communicating with someone I met in Arizona during my trip out there and feel greatly inspired by that. I won't say more except it's a wonderful life!

Ice Cream and Cookie Woes

2008-09-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

I am "thisclose" to buying the Malibu Pilates Chair. I am still a size 4 but every day I feel I am one potato chip away from being fat. I haven't exercised in a while and yet I keep indulging myself with fattening comfort food and junk. I don't know what's come over me! I also now know why women in show business often look like skeletons- they're traumatized by the camera adding ten pounds. I mean, there's a group picture they took at work and one of my co-workers commented on how chubby I looked and how weird they thought that was because they're looking right at me in person and I look fine! Most of my recent photos (stop tagging me on Facebook, Rafael!) have me looking like fat little pig. Yet in person I look okay. As I said, I haven't increased in dress size. I can even fit into XS dresses and blouses! (Pants, I am a 4 in Women's but I can no longer buy XL in Girl's and get away with it because my waist is bigger.)

There are some old photos of me back in 1997 and '98 where I look great but in reality, in person, I was way too thin. I was a size 1. My ideal weight is like 108, maybe 110 but right now I am a whopping 118. I need that chair so I can be slim and trim again, otherwise there's no way I'll make a date to meet any of the guys I told you about on the last post!

And the winner is....

2008-08-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

My weekend was pretty fun and full! On Saturday, as you know, I had that date with God and later that day I had a special function at church. It was an awards show, complete with red carpet interviews. I wore a long periwinkle gown with glittery overtones (which are still in my car) and I had the honor of being nominated for Most Bible Knowledge (Sister). I was upset by someone who's been around twice as long as myself but that's okay. There was an after-party and I met someone (a guy) who has moved out here from Hawaii.

The following day, our church service was at a big city park and we had a jumpy house and water slides and by luck my brother and his twin boys were visiting so I took them with me! Here they are enjoying some treats for a hot August day:

Don't they look cute?

Saturday Morning Date

2008-08-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

I had it all planned out.

I was going to get up early and go on another date with God. Unfortunately, I didn't count on not having a car. Earlier in the week, I had to have AAA tow away my car from work. A new starter was put in and I got the car back on Friday. No sooner did I have it back than the car started acting up again. It started and all, but it didn't want to accelarate at all after I was stopped at red lights and stop signs. So I drove it back to the mechanic. This morning he told me it was my alternator. So I'm out almost $400 altogether- $162 for the starter (parts & labor) and $180 for the alternator (parts & labor).

Anyway, I went to the post office because even though I tried to file my taxes 3 times already, I haven't been successful. I finally got a hold of someone from the IRS who recognized that this was so but she told me that I still had to fill out another 1040 and send it in to them. Which I did- today.

So then I walked to the neighborhood Chinese Food & Donut Shop and had my date there. I tried to get prettied up despite the circumstances and I didn't even wear flats though I was hoofing it. I wore wedge sandals.

Here's some pictures since all of you like to post pics:

and also:

I tried to include Him in the pictures, as you can see...but you know...He's invisible.

Back to the Front

2008-08-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Aargh! It's getting hard to keep up with the social network sites I'm a member of. I gave up on Friendster long ago and of course MySpace has pretty much gone the way of Friendster and the good thing about Facebook is that tons of people from my church are actually on it, unlike MySpace. And then there's one I joined back in 2004 or so, which was to meet single Christians. It got started by someone in the church though it isn't church-sponsored so it's not free. My church finally started one, and it is free, but hardly anyone is on it! I'm not sure they are aware of it. I have a couple of e-mail exchanges going with two different guys right now. It's kind of fun, especially since I can't get out and meet people too much.

One of these guys has a lot of things in common with me, and I mean besides the whole church thing. He is a cat-lover, which is rare, and I point blank asked him (and he had no idea because I've given no indication yet what the "right" answer should be) if he liked Superman or Batman better and he said Superman. Ding-ding-ding! Good answer, good answer! And he loves sushi. And he has at least watched some foreign films and isn't just into things blowing up. And he has good grammar! He's a writer, even! He's actually the second writer I've met (from church) of late. The other is a reporter, which is so Clark Kent, but I don't think he's interested in me at all. It's just as well becuse reporter or not, he didn't actually seem to have very good grammar. I found that a little annoying, what can I say? (What is wrong with me?) I had also met a very good looking guy at the conference but he didn't ask me for my number, plus he said he didn't like to read which didn't sit well with me.

I was actually going to write about other things but I felt a need to share with you, readers. Please don't be too hard on me if you've formed some kind of judgment about anything I've said here today.

Furry Little Problem

2008-08-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

There's an old saying I know in Spanish, which goes "Lo barato sale caro", or loosely translated, cheap things end up expensive things.

Well, I had this experience dealing with cheap flea medication. I thought I'd hit the motherload when I discovered Target and Wal-Mart both had started selling those drops you put on the back of your cat's (or dog's) necks to kill fleas and their larvae and eggs. They cost a mere $5! Well, that was a huge difference from the vet's medication (Frontline, for example) which cost upwards of $60!

But unfortunately, saving a few bucks ended up being a high price to pay when Mr. Julie developed eczema, most likely from still having fleas on him despite my applying the cheap drops all summer (thus far). His fur got mangy and scraggly, where before it had been long and pretty. I didn't know what was wrong with him and I noticed red spots that looked like abrasions so I took him to the vet today. Thank the LORD it was only this skin allergy due either to having fleas or me applying that flea medication maybe too often because I noticed he was still scratching and licking or maybe it could have been food-related because I did switch him out for a couple (or 3) weeks. At that time was when this all started. But...he's been back on his old diet for a bit now and he didn't get better skin- and hair-wise. Hopefully the frontline and the two shots (and two types of pills!) the vet gave him will work. He has to take them twice a day!

In total, the Frontline, the two shots, the two vials of medication and the consultation were $160! Next time I'll stick to Frontline and save myself a hundred dollars!

One Sunday in August

2008-08-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Today I had to get up and get ready (though I'm not feeling well) and get over to church, not for the usual worship service but because as a member of the prayer ministry I had been given the task of praying throughout the entire worship service for the worhsip service. Anyway, I had put on a nice, glamourous outfit complete with heels but decided at the last moment to scrap that and go with something loose and comfortabole. I even wore sneakers! That is so not me. But the praying was awesome! It was one of those times (and it usually only happens to me when I'm praying with others, which I was) when I feel tingly and see a white light when I close my eyes. I'm not trying to convince anyone of something supernatural, and it might even sound a little New Age-y but honestly, that's what happened. Since we were praying for a very long time, I actually felt like soft clay or like liquid at the end. Luckily, my car got me there and back. I'm waiting for it to die on me again because that's what the mechanic said- that he can't do anything right now because four codes came up on the diagnostic. I had to pray that it wasn't something expensive!

Tomorrow I must get all dolled up, after all, though I managed to avoid it today. The reason is that it's our monthly staff meeting at work and I'm actually "in charge" of things that normally my supervisor would have done because she is out recovering from surgery.

Today a woman came up to me after service who I had served with at our Kingdom Kids class a couple of Thursdays ago (the Sunday class is much more organized and the kids actually get a lesson but at Midweek services we act more as babysitters) and she said someone at church is writing a children's book and would I illustrate it? I said, "Sure!" and I'm pretty excited about it. It's going to be a book with Scriptures and I had just prayed during the service that we all got to use our talents for God. I didn't know it would be answered so quickly!

Shake, Rattle and Roll!

2008-07-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! That was a strong quake. What's weird is I was just talking about earthquakes with friends this weekend, all the while thinking to myself, "We're due for one any moment now." I was in Phoenix and we had this 100-degree heat at 9 pm and there was a hot wind blowing, then there was rain and lightning so I thought, "This is what Southern Californians call 'earthquake weather'." That was Frinday night. Sunday on the trip back (by the way, we almost ran out of gas and the other passenger with me was a little on the hysterical side about the whole thing but I found it funny myself) we talked about research someone has done on the spike in lost and missing pets during earthquakes. So that was a whole other conversation about quakes.

Speaking of which, Mr. Julie is missing. It's not unusual for him to be missing during the day as he is usually asleep but would he sleep through such a strong earthquake? Or did he get up and go before it even hit? It took place at 11:42 am Pacific Standard Time. Chino Hills, the epicenter, is quite close to where I live. I know people who live there- people from church. Needless to say a lot of prayers are going out right now. It doesn't seem like there's any damage, though. Maybe we've managed to construct everything to earthquake-ready safety because there aren't reports of deaths or anything horrible.

Maybe, if he's gone missing, Mr. Julie will be one of the few casualties. I hope not! I did lose a lamp to the quake, but it was for show- not electric but one you'd use with candles. By the way, that's why I don't use candles though I love the soft glow. I'm always scared that if there's an earthquake they'll all topple and I'll burn to a crisp. (I'm quite flammable, what with my many lotions and perfumes and hair products!!)

Time to Leave!

2008-07-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I am off to Arizona in about fifteen minutes or son. I have a huge headache, though, not exactly the best thing for a road trip. Hopefully it'll get better! Wish me luck!

So Much for My Contribution to Science

2008-07-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

There's a questionnaire you have to fill out before you can participate in the study and I'm afraid I won't pass muster. They only allow for two possibilities when it comes to spiritual experiences brought about by music: A. A feeling of being one with God or B. The feeling of awareness of God's unity with all things. I don't feel that way at all! To me, God is completely separate as a Being from not only all things including animals and people and of course inanimate objects but also He is not "one with" me either. I was given the Holy Spirit and He lives in me but that isn't the same. He is also completely different from me. Anyway, because of these beliefs I don't think they will ask me to participate in the interesting portion of the study- the MRI.

As for what I was listening to yesterday- it wasn't even anything I've ever really heard before but for some reason it evoked a feeling, a reminder, that I am supposed to be different.

Actually, there's a song that whenever I hear now, I am reminded for some odd reason....Well, never mind. I don't think I'll go into it. It's nothing terribly bad (or is it?)- it's just two people dancing.

I just watched a movie that had wonderful depictions of what looked like very tasty dishes and it reminded me of "Waitress", a movie which I found delightful and also featured food prominently. Only in "Waitress" the foodstuff was all pies. Rafael tried to get me to admit that I found the affair between the main character and her doctor "hot" but he had to laugh (cackle, really, but it's very charming on him) when I said, "Nah. You know heteros don't do it for me anymore."

The Universal Language

2008-07-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

I have to pack. This means I also have to do laundry. Though my trip will be only 2 nights and 2 days, I have to take into account that I usually make about three wardrobe changes per day. I do have all those nice new knee-length shorts and I did buy a new dress to go with the shoes (from the picture).

I feel kind of depressed right now and I don't know why. I mean, I've always known music affects us and that certian chords are depressing (whereas some make you feel like marching out to war, etc.) and this is why I think it would be interesting to participate in a university study which tracks what happens when we listen to music, especially when we feel we are having a spiritual reaction to the music. This study actually involves having an MRI done while listening to music.

The music I was listening to right now isn't the type that would motivate me spiritually and it is almost the opposite. It just takes me back to a world I don't feel I belong in anymore, like a past life I can't get back to. It's sad because it's still there. It's not like it'll go away, I just have to constantly make these decisions to be different. Sometimes it's tiring. But the battle is exhilirating! The strength I get from being at my weakest is formidable! This is what I'd like to see tracked on the MRI. I think this will be so interesting (if I get picked for the study). I'll keep you posted!

Does This Answer Your Question, Rafael?

2008-07-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

At the Movies (with Spleengrrl)

2008-07-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

This is a list of the movies I've watched on Netflix DVDs or instantly (online) since I joined in January, along with my ratings:

DVDs:

-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (loved it!)
-Finding Neverland (loved it!)
-Marie Antoinnett (loved it!)
-Mildred Pierce (loved it!)
-House of Flying Daggers (really liked it!)
-United 93 ('twas okay)
-One Night with the King (pretty okay)
-Curse of the Golden Flower (really loved it!)
-Linda Linda Linda (really liked it!)
-The Hidden Blade (really loved it!)
-Hero (loved it!)
-The Story of Qui Ju (loved it!)
-Raise the Red Lantern (really loved it!)
-Ju Dou (really liked it!)
-Scoop (really liked it!)
-Match Point (loved it!)
-Real Women Have Curves (loved it!)
-December Boys (really liked it!)
-Shopgirl (liked it!)
.....long break while I rented the DVDs for X-Files Seasons 1 (loved it!) & 2 (okay), Doctor Who Seasons 2 (pretty good) & 3 (loved it!), and Torchwood Season 1 (loved it a little too much!)...

-Enchanted (pretty okay)
-27 Dresses (loved it!)
-Arsenic & Old Lace (loved it! wish Cary Grant was still alive and making pictures!)
-Melinda & Melinda (liked it!)
-Waitress (loved it!)

INSTANT activity:

-Long Life, Happiness & Prosperity (loved it!)
-Monsoon Wedding (loved it!)
-The Hours (really liked it!)
-Woman is the Future of Man ('twas okay in some respects, kind of bad in most)
-Vertigo (loved it!)
-Dolls (really loved it, it's my favorite movie now!)
-Manhattan Murder Mystery (loved it!)
-Conversations with Other Women (loved it!)
-The Madness of King Geroge (loved it!)
-Letters from Iwo Jima (loved it!)
-The Flower of My Secret (loved it!)
-Blame it on Fidel (really liked it except for the message but acting/dialogue/story good)
-The Remains of the Day (really liked it!)
-Water (loved it a lot!)
-Gracie (really liked it!)
-Dangerous Liaisons (liked it!)
-Empire of the Sun (pretty okay, acting by little Christian Bale very good)
-Silent Waters (liked it!)
-The Whales of August (loved it!)
-Murphy's Romance (really liked it!)
-Focus (loved it!)
-Electric Shadows (really loved it!)
-the Last of the Mohicans (really liked it!)
....break for Doctor Who Season 1 (loved it!), numerous old Doctor Who episodes (really liked them!), and Dexter Season 1 (loved it!)...
-Holiday (really loved it!)
-His Girl Friday (really liked it!)
-Woman Thou Art Loosed (kind of okay)

Road Trip!

2008-07-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well, guess what? I am not going to the Arizona conference in the luxury bus after all. I am going with a friend who's driving in, and another friend who is sharing a room with me (along with two other people). It should be pretty fun as they are both two of my bestest friends.

Anyway, I asked this young man who was just baptized on Friday if he would join the prayer ministry I mentioned before. You see, people who have just become saved are very pure-hearted so we could use someone like him sending up prayers.

I'm thinking of going to the gym but I am very tired. I hate this stupid anemia! But I do enjoy the way I look thanks to my commitment to working out.

The Best Policy?

2008-07-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

Tempation is a part of life, like the old 80s freestyle song says. Well, it sure is! I was a little tempted recently to attend the gym for free for at least as long as they remained unaware that my membership was expired. What happened is that two weeks ago, when I decided to go back, I walked in with my membership card (I had called ahead and they said it was okay to work out and then decide if I wanted to renew but I didn't give a name or anything and the call was made one or two days before I actually went there) and it didn't scan (because it's expired) but the person behind the front desk just waved me in while muttering something about my card. I worked out and left, having decided to renew online. Unable to do so, however, I waited a couple of weeks (because my anemia prevented me from wanting to go back) then went again today. Well, the same thing happened. That's when I knew I could apparently keep doing this forever and not have to pay a membership fee ever again. Needless to say after my workout (I didn't want to waste time lest I lose heart again), I went to the front and declared, "I need to renew my membership." Ninety-six dollars later, I am poorer in monetary assets but richer in spirit.

On another note, my prayer blog is a bust. I hope it picks up! I joined my church's prayer ministry and it's been really great praying for others on a regular basis. We're supposed to do that but unless you have something specific to pray about it makes it downright hard. This way I know to pray for so-and-so's heart surgery or whosit's job prospects.

Even though I have about two more weeks before Don Quixote is due back at the library, I decided to buy it used at Amazon and I got a two-cent copy. It's underlined and highlighted so I'm assuming someone read it for a college class. Doesn't anyone read exciting classics like this for pleasure?

I haven't finished it (have about 600 more pages to go) because I work, eat, sleep, watch TV, go to church, read the Bible, try to do things recreationally, clean, watch Netflix and all of that comes first before picking up the book and reading it. At this rate it's going to take like 10 years. But I'll finish it, I will!

In two weeks I shall be going to Arizona for a church conference. I am going by chartered "luxury" bus. (It's air-conditioned, has bathrooms and they play DVDs.) I am staying in what appears from the website photos to be a nice hotel and I decided to just take shorts. They're not short-shorts, mind you, they are all to the knees. But I have four new ones I got really cheap on sale ($5) and in a variety of colors. One is plaid (-ish) colored white, pink, light blue and black. Another has vertical stripes in beige and gray-blue. Another is also plaid (-ish) in yellow, orange and light brown. And one is filing-cabinet gray. I also have new summer tops! Now I need heels. Well, more heels. I also need prayers about not blowing my whole bonus on this and keeping it in my savings account. Actually, I have a new bank account as my current bank is going under. I opened one online. Well, gotta jet. I saw a cute pair of shoes I want to get!

The Spirit of Mary

2008-07-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

I got up early though it's a holiday, just as I do on weekends. I left my alarm on- at least my second alarm. I have one for 4 a.m. which wakes me up to read the Bible and pray. Then I go back to sleep and get up again at 7:28 to get ready for work. I go through my usual beauty rituals and then pick something out of my color-coordinated closet to wear.

Today I had it planned that I would get up and go someplace kind of quiet to spend time with God, a date with God if you will.

So I grabbed these new short pants I have (they are shorts that go down to the knees) then tried to pick out a blouse. Because they are kind of plaid (though not exactly) and the colors are black, pink, withe and light blue, I chose to wear them with this light blue sleeveless blouse and strappy silver heels. I then took off to Starbucks. I ordered a green tea latte (which is sweetened with melon) and a plain bagel. I saw this tumbler which was much smaller than the ones that are usually sold there (or anyplace) and saw that it was marked down from 7.99 to 4.99. When I tried to get it the barista said he couldn't charge me for it, as I guess it wouldn't scan. He said, "This is your lucky day- happy 4th!" I was really excited and took it to be a good sign that God was pleased with my wanting to take Him on a date.

I chose a round table with two seats though they have a lone chair with a larger table that one can use to study and I was carrying a special binder, two Bibles and a book about women in the Bible. But I had to have 2 chairs because I had to feel I was with God.

I read about Mary Magdalene, the special lady I have named my blog after. She was very special to the ministry of Jesus, as she was one of the women who supported it financially. She was also the first person to see the risen Jesus. The things I read were not new to me as I've read them before (in fact have already read the entire Bible and continously re-read from it) but it was encouraging to read about her again. In the book they compared her to Peter and it shows a contrast in that Peter denied Jesus and fled from him in his time of need (arrest, trial and execution) but Mary Magdalene stood by him (as did numerous women).

At the coffee shop an old lady made conversation with me so I invited her to church before she left. She said, "It's nice to see someone reading the Bible."

I couldn't agree more.

Tree-Branch Cat Nap

2008-06-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

Day Off

2008-06-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

I have the day off today because I worked Saturday. It probably won't sound much like "work" when I tell you that it was a picnic in the park, literally. Starting last year, the agency has been having a picnic in the park for the foster parents and children and this year we even had a jumpy obstacle course. We also had burgers and hot dogs but for the second year in a row (I don't know if I'll be able to get away with it much longer!) I signed up for Bathroom Duty. Last year I was there along with an elderly social worker who used to work out of a different office but she's been at my home office for quite a few months now. Anyway, we station ourselves by the bathrooms to make sure child molesters don't go into the bathrooms to try anything.

Last year, being stationed there with this woman (we'll call her Diane) created for me one of the best memories of my life. It was wonderful! She's 72 and she's funny and tells great stories. I won't go into details because it was work related but I had such a great time! We should really treasure the elderly.

I wanted to write about joining the gym again. I haven't gone to the gym since Bally's didn't re-offer me their special $67 for the whole year membership. I got mad and worked out at home instead. I used DVDs, from aerobics to the giant ball to pilates. But then I bought a Gazelle (pictured). I got one brand new for $91 but a co-worker said she'd sell me hers for $45 so I returned the brand new one. Anyway, it's pretty good. But guess what- I found something better! Curves gym is doing a fitness study along with Avon and for $30 you sign up to go faithfully three times a week for a month. The best thing is they do circuit training using hydraulic resistance-training machines. They also give you a card to swipe on each machine so you can track your results at the end. You are supposed to "Go for Green", which is the color on the machine if you're trying your best. You stay on each machine for like 30 seconds, then move on to the next one. You go twice around the circuit and in half an hour, you get a great workout. They also have a stretching area in the center which is great because stretching after a workout gives you a 28% better workout. Also, they use appointments so it motivates you to go. Bally's would be a lot cheaper- about $9 a month! And Curves is like $49 a month but maybe people in the study get a discount (I haven't verified that but it might be $28 a month). Still, my body is changing and this appears to be a better stystem. Bally's is always crowded, I don't get to train all my muscles, and all I do is run on a treadmill. Not worth it, don't you think?

Even Unhappier Endings

2008-05-27T18:48:00.000-07:00

I just read an article on MSN about really bad TV finales. They make the point that there aren't any shows coming to an end this year but that both Scrubs and ER will next season. So, they want the writers and producers to avoid certain stupid mistakes.

Since I linked it I won't go into what they say exactly but I do want to let you know I think they left out some things. One type of finale I really hate besides the non-finale (they mention this and call it the "whoopsie-daisy" of finales because apparently no one sees cancelation coming and what ends up going down in history as a show's finale is actually just another episode and nothing gets wrapped up), is the spin-off.

What I mean is, some shows end and their endings are even pretty good or at least not terrible (i.e. the whole "it's all been an autistic boy's imaginings as he stares at a snow globe" catastrophe) wind up being un-finale'd. For example, "The Golden Girls" ended in a two-part episode in which Dorothy Zsbornak, the once-divorced roommate ends up marrying one of Blanche's Southern relatives and goes to live in Atlanta with him. Well, since only Bea Arthur (who played Dorothy) wanted out of the show, this was a way to say goodbye to the character. The stupid part is that Sofia, her elderly mother on the show, doesn't leave with her but stays behind with the two other roommates, Blanche and Rose, in Miami. The show then is spun off into "The Golden Palace", a short-lived sitcom in which the three remaining golden girls run a hotel. If the three women who stayed behind had not been so eager to stay behind playing the same characters, "The Golden Girls" may have ended satisfactorily. Instead, it petered out sadly and had its life abruptly cut off.

The same thing happened with "Friends". I know a lot of you probably don't even like the show or won't admit it if you did, but this show had a pasted together ending because everyone had had enough but by the time they chose to end it, the writers had still dragged on the main plot line (the Ross-and-Rachel romance) and since they wanted to have them together at the end, they had to reunite them in an unbelivable and annoying way. But that isn't even my complaint. That's bad enough- but the really stupid part was that Matt Le Blanc, who for years had played the flirty actor Joey, who was best friends with Chandler (and in a cute speech to Monica given by Chandler about the careful thought he'd given to what their life together would be like it included the line, "...and a room over the garage where Joey could grow old"), decided he still wanted to be this character in a spin-off and suddenly it was like all the years we had sat through were nullified. This new Joey was transplanted to Los Angeles (albeit a better location for an actor) to live with a sister who had not been mentioned or if she had it had not been in this capacity, and her son, who was a college student. Joey never spoke to his Friends again and no more was he going to grow old over Chandler and Monica's garage. It's true people move on or just move, but this show had us believing these particular friends would always stay together or at least stay in touch and it suddenly seemed it wasn't the case. Plus, the show tanked and this left untidy loose ends.

Okay. Now I'm worried about myself because I just spent an hour writing about this pointless topic! But do comment so it won't all have been for naught!

Thank You for Being a Friend

2008-05-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

I miss "The Golden Girls". How can I miss it, you ask, when the re-runs are on daily and I watch them during my lunch break? Well, I miss the idea of the show and yearn for future episodes instead of constantly watching the ones I know by heart. But a show like that can never be re-created. Most shows can't be. That is why all those lame attempts at doing so by Hollywood fall flat ("Dukes of Hazard", "The Beverly Hillbillies") or have to be completely self-aware mockeries disguised as modern homages to work. One great example is the hilarious "Brady Bunch" movie, which indeed had to remove all the innocence of the show or turn it on its head. That show was too sickly-sweet to be true even back when it was first aired and we all now know that there was quite a bit of scandalous dysfunction going on backstage at Chez Brady. I mean, one episode had Greg getting "caught" with cigarettes that belonged to a friend and he got a serious talk from Mr. Brady but in real life the actor playing Greg was showing up stoned on the set; and 10 years later on "The Cosby Show" they stole that plot but instead of cigarettes, Theo got "caught" with a joint belonging to a friend but maybe that joint should have been cocaine. Still, a movie which just made fun of those four lovely older ladies would tick me off, not have me rolling in the aisles.

The thing is that a re-make would probably have to be executed in the 80s, like the original. That is because the ladies on the show (roommates Blanche, Dorothy and Rose) were about 55-58 (except for Dorothy's mother Sophia, who was in her 80s) and women in their 50s back then are pretty different from women in their 50s today. For one thing, the women were "on their own" only because they had widowed or in Dorothy's case, left for a younger woman. Near retirement age but still vital and working, they had jobs, not careers. (Dorothy is kind of an exception, as she was a substitute teacher, which is a career, though not the same as a tenured teacher.) The women lived together in a home in Miami owned by Blanche, which had been bought during her marriage to the late George Devereux and presumably with his money. Rose was widowed back in St. Olaf, her hometown in Minnesota, and she was forced to take on a job at a grief counseling center and later as the assistant to a newscaster. Blache worked in a museum. Most women their age today would have successful careers they'd been involved in since graduating college and would probably not be widows, though possibly divorced but most likely never married.

They also looked different than women their age now would look. They had middle-age spread and wore matronly clothes. Today, women have fit bodies they work hard at keeping by jogging or going to the gym and they like to show off said bodies with more revealing or form-fitting clothing. The original Golden Girls also had short hair, though styled to the nines. This is in keeping with the former established style of cutting your hair once you became a woman of a certain age. Long, sexy locks are for young women, you see. (But not anymore) Not that the women were not into sex. Blanche especially was constantly the butt of many jokes which ended in the word "slut" but the funny thing is that her sex life is no different than that of most modern single women, for example all the women on "Friends". She didn't really have casual sex with strangers, she just had quite a heavy social life and dated tons of men, eventually going to bed with them. I don't think it was ever mentioned she slept with anyone she didn't date at least once. Even her tales of sexual exploits as a young woman in the South had her sleeping with local boys after a dance but in a small town setting, teenage boys and girls have grown up together and are therefore not strangers so it's not the same as hooking up with a stranger at a club.

**NOTE: When I first wrote a draft of this blog post (last night, longhand), I had no idea that a successful version of the show was now airing in Greece. A similar show aired in the UK but was cancelled. So there is hope yet! I really think that a modern version of "The Golden Girls" that could work would star not the originals Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty or similar matronly ladies but instead Kate Jackson, Jacklyn Smith and Farrah Fawcett! Yes, the original hotties from the 70s/TV version of "Charlie's Angels" could play the women in their late 50s who live and love together. What do you think? Should I pitch my idea to NBC?

Fighting Blues with Green

2008-05-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

I didn't really want to write about this issue because it's pretty personal and also, if I don't use my words adequately, I may give off the wrong impression. But here goes...

Well, it seems that there is a perception about me having certain chronic aches and pains (some muscle pains coupled with tiredness otherwise known as fibromyalgia as well as my allergies and subsequent sinus problems) and these being "psychosomatic" or somehow "not real". What gets me mad is that when people dismiss these issues, they not only dismiss my pain and the helplessness I feel about having to live with this, but they dismiss my word as being false.

The problem is that even were these medical problems to be psychological rather than phisiological in origin, they are still real! One thing I simply must point out as well is that there are a large number of valid diseases that used to be classified as psychosomatic or "hysterical" in nature. These include asthma, allergies, false pregnancy, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), Coeliac disease, migranes and peptic ulcers. For those not in the know, ulcers were once thought to be stress-induced (and even if that was the case, which it turns out it wasn't, the person was still having to deal with severe stomach pain and should not have been dismissed) but in reality, ulcers are now known to be caused by the helicobacter pyroli bacteria. (I learned this in beauty school!) It is a bacteria shaped like a helicopter and it attaches to the stomach and causes the ulcers. It has nothing to do with stress! The picture of the busy and overwhelmed man chugging Mylanta every time the boss demanded more output is false. The guy simply had a bacteria he needed to be rid of. (I was tested for the bacteria but was found not to have it but instead found to have GERD.)

Anyway, my point is that even if the fibromyalgia and allergies and sinus problems and whatever else may afflict me (aforementioned GERD or acid reflux disease), I still have these very physical problems to contend with! My body does ache! My vision gets tired, my glands swell, my sinus cavities get raw, my stomach hurts, I do get bloated! Whether a trip to the shrink would get rid of it all or not is simply irrelevant. I can't afford one and even if I could, I have little to no faith in them at all. I have more faith not only in God but in things like vitamins and minerals and other supplements. (Hence the title of the blog- I started taking my Über Greens again, which are a very expensive powdered supplement chock-full of vitamins, minerals, greens, antioxidants and fiber.)

I just want people to realize that it's very harmful and hurtful to treat me as though I am not suffering. No one goes up to a cancer patient and tells them to get over it or that it's in their head. So why is it that when I have a bout with something like a sinus infection (which has been properly diagnosed and treated by a physician) or the aches and tiredness caused by fibromyalgia (the cause of which is in question), I am dismissed as needing therapy? I still can't move!

My problems may stem from a damaged psyche. It could be a result of being very young and in the middle of a war and bein "abandoned" for a couple of months because my mom and dad left for the U.S. first to find jobs then sent for us. It could also be phisiological in that I did get several and very "real" dangerous diseases back then- malaria (twice), measles, and acute bronchitis (like three times). Maybe my immune system suffered. Maybe I'm somehow "weak" in the mind. If so, please be patient and loving not mean and cruel. That's all.

Rituals

2008-04-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've had several things that I wanted to post blogs about and that's the problem with me sometimes. I go through dry spells but when I get going, I end up doing like 3 quick posts in one or 2 days and no one reads them because they happen too fast.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with my readers that I am totally freaking out about how fast time has been flying! When I was getting harassed at work, the days were interminable. Well, now that things are smooth it seems that it is five o'clock before I know it and even scarier, it's Friday all over again too! I used to think being 40 was like some weird vague fantasy but now it's pretty much around the corner. In fact, by the time I am totally out of debt and driving a new car and possibly doing what I dream of (being a librarian), I will be 42. I discovered a gray hair yesterday and though premature graying runs in my family (my 23-year-old brother already has gray hair), it seems fitting it would happen at 35.

It's not that I'm freaked out about aging or dying...mostly I am scared of my parents aging and dying. That's terrifying. Especially if they die in the spiritual state they are currently in.

To relieve some stress I have been engaging in a little bit of ritual. It's not a huge thing but I find it relaxing. And this is pouring myself a cup of tea. It sounds dumb and it's such a small thing but I really find that the act of pouring tea is relaxing to me. I got a teapot as a gift some years back and my mom mentioned she also got a similar gift and hers is smaller so she let me have it and I take it to work with me. Both teapots are the type that have a teacup for a bottom- you stack the teapot over the teacup. This makes for a very large teacup, at least in width if not depth. Mine, in fact, has such a large teacup in width that it looks like one of those cappuccino mugs. I would definitely prefer a dainty teacup but the teapot/teacup my mom gave me is much more practical because you can stack these as I said and they travel better than a whole tea serving! (She also gave me a very pretty silver tray but I don't take that to work!)

I drink black tea with some milk and calorie-free sweetener. In the afternoon I drink decaffeinated black tea. Lipton. It tastes good and everything but as I said, it's the pouring action that relaxes me.

I also wanted to state that I find it ironic that a show about amnesia (or an amnesiac), Samantha Who? is one of the shows I watch regularly but realized last night that I never remember it exists until it comes on.

Oh, Pooh!

2008-04-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

I just read some depressing report about foods to avoid if you don't want to take chances with contamination via bacteria and parasites.

Believe it or not, alfalfa sprouts are #1 on the list, but I'm not sure if the rest of the list is in any type of order. The comments about the sprouts and why it tops the list of evil foods is that the way it is harvested is a breeding ground for bacteria and if you try to cook them, they disappear so what is the point?

Unfortunately, sushi is of course on the list because the raw fish could have parasites such as tapeworm. (Ewww!) The good thing is that going to a reputable sushi restaurant is a guarantee that the chef knows how to choose the best fish and how to remove parasites, though it's not a 100% guarantee by any means. Also, dipping the sushi (and sashimi) into soy sauce and wasabi seems to be an antimicrobiobial solution.

Even more distressing is the inclusion of cheeses like goat, feta and brie. Apparently, they are unpasteurized. I have to admit, I didn't know! Egads!

The other foods included are beef, chicken, leafy greens (espeically packaged), eggs, salad bar fare, canteloupe, and mayo. (I couldn't care less about that last one as I detest the very thought of that nasty junk!)

Well, bon appetit!

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

I actually had this saved for months on my YouTube account. It is one of my favorite shows. I suddenly remembered it would be most appropriate for today! Enjoy!

The Latest

2008-03-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm off the Asian movie kick for a while. I've moved those movies to the middle of the queue and yesterday I got "Scoop" and I liked it. I love ScarJo, I don't begrudge her a thing! By that I mean she can be as rich as she wants and as sought-after and if she starts dating one of the men I love so well, I'd say "Brava!" instead of, "Curse that wretched slut!"

Anyway, on a more serious (but still not too serious) note- I am experiencing a sort of "Teacher's Pet" situation at work. It seems the CEO likes me and she was even defending me today. That's a good thing- sort of. People at the office are starting to hate me. Maybe not outright but I am sure they don't appreciate her speaking up for me. They probably think I went crying to her about this particular situation but I most certainly did not. My direct supervisor wasn't there and if I'd chosen to speak up, I'd have gone to her first. Oh well.

Back to less serious matters.....I am slightly worried that 2 shows I like may get canceled. Even if one survives, that's not enough for me. I want them both to stay on! I speak of (and I'm a little ashamed to admit it) the two so-called "Sex and the City" clones that have been airing on regular TV. Now, I watched "Sex and the City" occasionally, though I don't have premium cable (I got the Season One DVD), and I don't think these shows are really that similar to S&TC. Sure, they take place in NY. Sure, they feature a group of women friends. But these women are very successful and even powerful. Also, the shows being on regular TV means that while there is some sex, it doesn't include nudity or graphic discussions of sex. Unfortunately, die-hard S&TC fans are sending the message that they'll take no imitations, thanks. Also, when two similar shows are on TV, only one usually survives. I mean, remember "Chicago Hope", that other emergency-room drama taking place in Chicago, just like a little show called "ER"? No? My point exactly.

"Cashmere Mafia" seems to have the upper hand for some reason. Darren Star is producer and he was co-creator of "Sex and the City", along with the author of the book by the same name, Candace Bushnell. "Lipstick Jungle" is being produced by Bushnell and is also based on her book. Which of these two will survive, if any? I like them! I like the characters, the clothes, and the drama. I don't agree with most of what they do but the drama just seems to happen and unlike "Sex", we don't really get this "message" thrown at us about the views of these women. We know what they are, as we are seeing how they choose to live their lives, but it isn't necessarily shoved down our throats. This I can appreciate. And the shoes! And, speaking of Asian fetishes, each show has a regular Asian character. Lucy Liu and Lindsay Price play them. I must point out that "Mafia" made a Superman reference, which gives the show an edge in my book. It was Liu's character, who said to her brain-surgeon boyfriend when he once again cut their date short to go to the hospital, "It's okay. When you run off to save someone's life I feel like Lois Lane dating Superman." She could actually date Superman if she liked- she has the requisite double-L name. Curse that wretched slut!

Ju Dou Done Wrong

2008-03-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

Sadly, as one reviewer for Netflix pointed out (just a regular joe viewer like me, not a real critic), the movie Ju Dou was pathetically transferred from film to DVD and this film, which was praised for "sumptous cinematography" and "exquisite use of color" looked like an old silent film with nearly sepia tones. WHAT HAPPENED? I am sure I missed out on a lot. I'm sure, also, that RV3 saw it in theaters and got the full effect. Without these elements, I'm afraid the movie is just drama. So I only gave it 4 stars but it probably deserved better....

the 35er

2008-03-02T17:45:00.001-08:00

Thank you all so much for your wonderful birthday wishes. I went out for Mexican food & a margarita on Friday, sushi and sake on Saturday, and for a mushroom burger and Diet Coke today. It's been nice to spend time with the friends and family who are closest to me and to hear the voices of others who are close to my heart.

Now if only the Korean Daily Drama on Channel 18 had English subtitles....

2008-02-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost my birthday so I have started to celebrate early. I am going out tonight for Mexican & margaritas. Well, maybe not plural. Margarita. But it will be on the rocks! =Anyway, a message to Lucy: I tried to post comments on your blog but could not, however I will try later on. I love the pictures of your bundle of joy!! Maybe I should be the one with a "Yellowpop" blog, however, as I've been watching tons of Chinese and Japanese films on Netflix with tons more on the way. I am also reading "China Boy" by Gus Lee. Sadly, I bought this book years ago when I was jonesing for something Asian-themed but had run out of Amy Tan books. Well, I somehow got the idea, after barely reading like 2 pages, from something in the BACK of the book, that it was an autobiography. At the time, I was disappointed because I wanted FICTION. Well, all these years later (3, I think), I started to re-read it and by the time I was in like Chapter 4 and was enjoying this autobiography immensely, I realized it was fiction after all. I felt quite silly and it's embarassing to admit to this error, but at least I discovered a great book and author. So there's like 2 more books by him I want to read.

The movies I mentioned include "The Story of Qui Ju", which is Chinese and was pretty good. I didn't love it, however, as I did "Stolen Life" and "Electric Shadows" (also Chinese). Well, hopefully if my readers have not seen or read anything I have just mentioned, you may be enticed to from this blog post. I realize I did not "review" anything but just take my word for it, okay!

Back Home

2008-02-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back home after my excursion to Florida for a good friend's wedding. She picked me up at the Tampa airport on Thursday and we hung out at her parents' house and it was really nice to spend time with this family I've known for so long. Eventually, after my two-hour nap (to try to recover from the red-eye), I soon became part of a large and growing crowd of people who were showing slowly for the wedding, some from Nicaragua. The maid of honor herself came in from there and she was lots of fun. She's bilingual though she lives out there and she came prepared with all kinds of make-up and hair tools for all us girls to use.

That night we hung out with the groom, his brother (the best man), and the bride's two older brothers and sister-in-law, all in the wedding party. I was part of it sort of unofficially as I did a reading for the wedding mass.

We also got to go see the enormous house that the newlyweds will occupy. My dad joined us for this. Friday night we had the rehearsal dinner at a Brazillian restaurant (churrascaria) and I ate quite a bit of meat.

Saturday was the wedding and at the reception I danced my head off. All in all, it was lots of fun

Rainy Movie Sunday

2008-01-27T16:25:00.000-08:00

I'm terribly sleepy on this rainy day. The moisture gave my right arm a real whipping and I had to take Tylenol 500 mg. and I had already had a Benadryl for allergies. Normally I can take these medicines together, even at work, with no problem. But for some reason I got super sleepy. If I'm not careful though my masseuse might find me naked and dead. No, that's a bad joke. Poor Heath Ledger! He deserved better than to be found dead Marilyn Monroe-style.

Anyway, I have been watching up a movie storm! I joined Netflix and for someone who hates movies I have watched a lot of stuff since joining two weeks ago. I've watched Harry Potter 4, Finding Neverland, Marie Antoinnette and Mildred Pierce- and that's just the DVD's I've gotten in the mail. I've also watched several movies online like Monsoon Wedding, The Hours, Vertigo, Long Life Happiness & Prosperity, Woman is the Future of Man, Dolls and Manhattan Murder Mystery.

Last night the church had a special worship event and it was just prayer and singing and very beautiful and powerful. This guy came up to me afterward and remarked that he liked my dress and something about the polka dots. Thing is I've noticed him before. As a matter of coincidence, the last time we had an event of this nature was in 2000 and I remember the next day for church some people from a different area church came to our church and he was there and I never forgot him for some reason. You might be thinking he's some kind of hunk and that is why. But no. He's sort of an average looking guy- he's not hot and he's not ugly. He wears glasses and is a bit over medium build. He's actually almost pudgy but I think he told me one time (or I heard him tell someone this?) that he used to be really fat and lost a lot of weight. Anyway, here I was and I was hoping he'd ask for my number but this other girl came up to him and they started talking and he got totally distracted and we were outside this theater and it was pouring rain and it was very crowded....so it didn't happen. Curses! Foiled again.

Well now I'm sort of awake. I almost took a nap but something woke me up and I can't just sleep now. So I thought I'd update this thing. See you guys after my vaction...

Let's Make it Great in 2008!

2008-01-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone! I know I'm a week late, but hey, I've been busy. I ripped out the carpeting in my room by myself piece by piece with a knife on Saturday so that the lovely hardwood floors underneath would be my new showpiece for 2008. I have to reorganize everything now but the whole ripping out the rug thing was so tiring I didn't get to do what I wanted to do. I could barely just put everything back together the way it was with minor changes! I have too many things...

In jet-setting news, I am flying to Florida for a wedding at the end of January. That should be a fun mini-vacation! I can't wait!

I received my new mineral make-up a couple of days ago. I can't believe I finally caved! I don't really need face make-up because I have lovely skin (if I do say so myself) but when I was in esthetician training my teacher could not emphasize enough how good mineral make-up was for your skin and how everything else was bad. A lot of the girls in class were using it. Some used Bare Minerals and some used other stuff from the mall. I started to notice, then, that drugstore brands started making their own stuff which was of course a third of the price. Well, I ordered the higher-end stuff online but it was on sale. It's called Sheer Cover and it's hawked by Leeza Gibbons, Alyssa Milano and some former America's Next Top Models (WHAT WOULD COVER GIRL SAY???), namely Naima and Yohanna. (The former really needs the coverage as she has bad skin)

Well, I read in a cosmetics blog (see my blogroll) that of all the drugstore mineral make-up offerings, the best is Milani. I'm glad! I've tried Milani Make-up and was satisfied with their lovely shades for darker women. As for Sheer Cover, I got the Tan line. I would love to try their eyeshadows and cream blushers but forget it- I am not rich! I continue to use my regular non-mineral eyeshadow and I still have lots of it but I am using the tips from the DVD and guess what? I'm extremely satisfied with the results! I wore my new look to work today and felt great, as though I were going to a photo shoot. But don't worry- I did not look over-made-up. I mean, it was me but prettier and that's the best make-up can offer.

Roots

2007-12-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

If you've never been drunk yourself or seen anyone under the influence, you may not know what alcohol can do to a person as far as the kind of stuff they start to ramble on about in their slurred speech. Well, today I got to hear some ancient family history. It seems my father had an argument with his older brother the last time they saw each other at the latter's new property upstate. My dad says his brother believes their father is the one to be revered from their parents, possibly because my grandfather was a doctor and a famous poet back in the old country.

Well, my dad constantly talks about the alpha females in our family tree and I think he respects these matriarchs who took it upon themselves to make something of their family before their men (dreamers, drunks and others made of flimsy stuff) dragged them all down. My dad always says that his maternal grandfather is the greatest man he ever knew but he admits the man had a lot of flaws. He says that outwardly it would have appeared as though his grandma was submissive to the point of birthing sixteen offspring for him but that in actuality, she made sure he didn't get taken adantage of in his business and other such things.

He was a jewler and a talented chemist who had the ability to make breathtakingly beautiful things like pink gold. But all he craved was the admiration of people for his artistry while the wife made sure to charge what his creations were really worth. My dad recalls a rich old bat once showing up to the jewelry store with something she had bought in Italy but was causing problems at home because her young daughter wanted one like it - some kind of brooch. She figured she'd take it to him, my great-grandfather, to see if he could perhaps make something "similar". He looked at it and said "Yes, come back in a week." My dad said that this is where the artist came out: he did not eat nor did he care if his children ate. He was determined to make this thing. Well, when the lady came back, he put down two identical items and asked if she knew which was hers. She said, "Honestly, no." He replied, "I do. Yours was 14 karats and mine is 22." At this point my great-grandmother had to step in and charge a pretty penny for such work. Otherwise, they would not have gotten anything for it because all he cared about was the look of astonishment on everyone's faces.

As for my grandparents, I think that my uncle doesn't have as much respect and admiration for his mom as he does for his dad because he left for the US in 1954 and now what he has are all his father's poems and nothing to show for my grandmother's contribution to the world. Well, he's stupid because he is one of her contributions: she sent him to the US with her own money. Her husband, my grandfather, had descended into alcoholism and was in the gutter whereas she was at the height of society. She worked very hard to make something of her children and produced an engineer, a doctor and the VP of a Wells Fargo Bank.

I loved them both very much. I just remember them as my grandparents, not as a drunk (he'd stopped drinking) or a matriarch but as a loving pair of elderly adults who bestowed me with kisses and hugs and encouragement and wisdom. I do recall his poems and I did see how she ran a tight ship while at the same time always respecting him and supporting him as a dutiful wife.

I hate how things end in death for everyone, however. They are dead now. The great-grandparents have been dead for thirty-seven years and I never met them. Two days ago my 28-year-old cousin died from cancer. And today, I had to help put together the outfit my great-aunt will be buried in when she dies, which apparently everyone expects will be very soon. She is 92 and a little senile. She's also a second mother to me and my greatest source of love and I will always carry her inside me. She will be buried in a cream-colored suit, as cream was her favorite color. (She wasn't wild, you know, she's still a virgin.) I am not sure what my legacy will be but if I'm anything like any one of them, I will have made a difference.

Fashion me a Winner!

2007-12-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

Two out of 3 of my favorite fashion-inspired reality TV show contests are coming to a close. Next week, Tyra will crown yet another Next Top Model who will doubtlessly not end up on the covers of any important fashion magazine nor be the spokesmodel for any product save for her sad fake commercials for Cover Girl that will only air during the next cycle of America's Next Top Model and are always followed by a real Cover Girl commercial featuring either Queen Lahtifah or Drew Barrymore.

Maybe that's the real problem, folks. Celebs stealing jobs right from under poor starving models! Er, the starving being by choice of course.

Meanwhile, over on America's Most Smartest Model they are also down to 3- a scheming conceited jerk named VJ who is chiseled to within an inch of his life, but whose horrid personality makes you want to give up hot guys forever; a semi-smart, semi-pretty gal who seems to think she's an expert at everything (except maybe modeling); and one whacko Russian who keeps spouting off against America, Americans and anything not Soviet but who has never been in Russia (I don't think), doesn't speak Russian, and has no qualms living in America and living off capitalism. Sadly, the choices are so slim I actually am rooting for him. If all America has to offer is VJ and what's-her-face then color me Red! (Just kidding, Big Brother!!!)

Luckily, Project Runway has just begun. We're on Episode 4 and the challenge was to take 3 tacky outdated fashion no-no's and combine them into a collection of current and relevant outfits. The contestants had to be in teams of 3 and the team with "underwear as outerwear", "neon", and "cutouts" had the hardest time, especially because two of them didn't get along. Victorya got all bossy and wouldn't listen to Ricky the lingerie designer and Ricky didn't sew his garment very well and it looked like a cross between Wonder Woman's suit and something out of an 80s rap video...and well, needless to say....Ricky was in the Bottom 2. But lucky for him the team with "dancewear", "shoulder pads" and "baggy sweater" could not put a cohesive collection together and Chris designed a beige sheath dress topped with a hideous brown crop jacket with large shoulder pads. He was out! Oh well...I'm glad Eliza is still around. She's a scary New Age nutcase but her designs acutally turn out pretty nice, and I'd have worn her dress from last night. What do you think- can I rock it?

Bravo is premeiring a new show next week called "Make Me a Supermodel" and you get to vote online! I smell a winner! "The Shot" would also qualify as semi-fashion but I don't know, those photogs bore me.....

They Got the Fashion Right, At Least

2007-12-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

Grrr. I certainly understand when Hollywood needs to make a commercial movie and certain aspects of a book don't fit their mold but it makes me crazy. I just saw "The Devil Wears Prada" DVD and I could not believe how different it was from the book! I mean, it was a good, entertaining movie about fashion and a girl trying to make it in the big city but it was not the same story I read years ago. For one thing, Miranda Priestly is made to be a sympathetic character in the end, epecially in the way she helps Andrea to get a job. In the book, Andy didn't just walk away from Miranda in Paris, she cussed her out. In order to survive this seemingly insurmountable problem, she wrote a story about working for an impossible boss in the fashion world and gets her story published. She also has a best friend/roommate who in the movie is omitted. Actually, the African American artist from the movie has the name Lily but in the book Lily is white and a Russian literature major. She is also an alcoholic who ends up in a coma and this is what finally drives Andy to leave her job, while in Paris, but not before her boyfriend Alex (not Nate) has to plead with her on the phone. Obviously this means she never breaks up with her boyfriend in the book and does not sleep with the writer she meets in NY and encounters in Paris. Finally, Emily is not her friend and so Andy does not bestow upon her those wonderful Paris clothes. Instead, she sells them (and purses and shoes and belts) to pay her rent.

It's rare I guess to see a movie that has stayed faithful to a book but one really good example is "Gone With the Wind". They really got it! "Less Than Zero", not so much. "Harry Potter" flicks also play around a lot with plotlines. "The Lord of the Ring" trilogy was pretty good as well. "The First Wives Club" was another movie that really strayed from the book because the book had some darker moments not suitable for comedy. I have yet to watch "The Color Purple" but I read it in junior high and loved it then. I'm pretty sure Steven Speilberg stuck to it. But who knows? And Rafael says "Running with Scissors" was a disaster. Chick lit books are being made into movies all the time, some of them for TV only. Believe me, though, if you think chick lit is lite and fluffy in itself, the movies made from them are 10 times worse!

Baby Showers & Twilight Zone Episodes in Real Life

2007-11-21T22:32:00.000-08:00

It was Lucy's Baby Shower on Sunday. I had thought for some reason it was THIS weekend but I was of course wrong. When I re-viewed the e-vite her sister sent me I had to rearrange plans and such and my mom ended up going with me, which I am glad about because she never goes out.

Miss Lucy is surprisingly nimble right now and I was glad to see her. I didn't see Rocio, though, as she was at least four hours late if she showed up at all. She helped me with directions so I am sure she couldn't have gotten lost!

_______________________________

Today I had something really weird happen to me, on an unrelated note. I left the office to go to lunch and when I got to my car, I noticed that the seat was all the way back. I am short so I actually have to have it all the way up. Also, the parking break was up and I never use it unless I'm parked on a hill. I realized this was really bizarre so I called my mom to tell her I was losing my marbles. At this point I not only noticed I was parked in a different place but also that the spills that had made the cupholders sticky just that morning were gone! I got out of the car and the whole car was sparkling clean when that morning when I parked there the car had been filthy! It was at this point that a man came up to me and asked if this was my car. I said Yes. He proceeded to tell me that he was given keys by a gentleman who wished to have his car washed and he took it and washed it only when he gave it back the guy said, "That's not my car." Well, no, it was mine! But this other guy's key opened my car! Later I found out that the car washer is well-known there (I don't usually work at our satellite office) and he indeed washes the cars in the lot of those who ask. It's like $15 but for me, because of a weird mistake, it was free!

Devouring Words

2007-11-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

Boring Saturday- the best kind. Tired, resting. Reading "Pride and Prejudice" online and "War and Peace" on paperback. Listening to ambient and new age music for background. Stomach hurting (why?). Baby shower gift bought. Nothing on TV. Maybe Spongebob later.

Back Home!

2007-11-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

I got back from the East Coast yesterday. It was a short trip but very enjoayable. In West Milford, NJ, where my friend Walter lives, the leaves had not yet fallen from the hundreds of trees surrounding the lakeside property he shares with his new husband. We were engulfed in beautiful reds, oranges, yellows and greens in his pretty little cabin home.

My first night out East was spent in Harlem. There, one of Rafael's good friends is renting a space from these two ladies who live in this wonderful brownstone filled with cute antiques. His bathtub is amazing! Actually, Steve is leaving this place soon as he will now move to London to live near his biological daughters, who are very cute as I can see from pictures in his home. I was unfortunately scared of the Rottweiler dog named Garbo who lives with the two ladies. They have two other dogs but they are little and not scary at all. Garbo barks a lot, supposedly out of sadness when left alone. Meanwhile, we ate delicious soul food down the street from Steve's. Our waiter was named Winston and is from Jamaica. He said come back soon thinking we lived in New York but I said I would next time I am in from California.

We had met Steve in Time Square where he works and stopped by a bar called Therapy for a drink (I had Diet Coke) then we took the subway to Harlem. Our trip to the East Coast was okay but because of a layover in Las Vegas where I had an apparently ill-fated drink at an airport bar, I got sick once off the plane in Newark. I had a terrible headache and nausea. I had to lie down for a while and when I got up a few hours later, I showered and got dressed for our day in New York which had been shortened to a night. The next day in Harlem we got up with Steve who had to be at work and we left him and had breakfast at Stardust, a place of singing servers who are struggling Broadway actors. They sing as they pour your coffee which can be ackward. We walked around and decided to go to the observation deck at Rockefeller Center. When we were up there and getting into an elevator to go back down, I noticed a woman who I soon thought I recognized as Mary Alice Stephenson of "America's Most Smartest Model". She looked much thinner and of course I wondered at a celebrity doing something so touristy but I realized by listening to what she was saying to her companions that they were out-of-towners and her guests. She said something about "It's near my office" so I knew sure enough, she was a local so that made it more of a chance it was her. Also, she was very well dressed and carried an extravantly elegant designer purse. Finally someone called to her, "Mary Alice..." so I knew it was really her.

It was sad to leave New York, honestly, but we had to get back to Jersey. That night we checked into the hotel we'd stay in for the rest of the trip, the hotel where a lot of people attending Walter & Andy's wedding would also be staying in. We got to hang out with another old friend of Walter's from LA who although he's from our neck of the woods, we never see because we'd lost touch with him. Turns out he's really funny! I enjoyed my time with him though he's constantly out of control.

The location of the wedding, Perona Farms, was very nice and the food was incredible. The ceremony was short and touchingly sweet. I taped it for the mother-of-the-bride (haha).

All in all, though there were some disasters, the trip was memorable and I am glad I went.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

2007-11-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

I'm so bored but I have all this stuff I need to get done. However, my neck is supposed to be receiving the most minimal amounts of stress. So, I can't go shopping for cold-weather clothes like I need to since I'm going to be in the East Coast later in the week. I need a coat, boots, sweaters, thermals, gloves, scarves....

I'm listening to a song that says "I think of you on Sunday afternoons" and since it is Sunday afternoon I began to wonder, "Is there someone I should think about?" Well, I did mention I find someone sort of intersting but I haven't bothered with him. God, I'm so lazy I can't even be bothered with trying to develop a romance. It's not laziness, though, I'm just tired a lot. Not too tired to type, however, faithful readers! Don't despair! (Is that the sound of crickets I hear?)

So my vacation depends largely on whether or not I can successfully treat my neck and if I can find clothes to wear. That's a lot of pressure. I am going with someone and I don't want to spoil it for him. He reads this blog so he knows who he is. Haha. You guys all know who he is as he's mentioned it that we're going on this trip. Anyway, I know he likes to have fun which is normal and I would too but unfortunately I have a few things holding me back. But I don't wish to hold him back so hopefully he'll have fun anyway. I hope so! This should be fun- we deserve it!!!

Oh, here's a picture of my nephews on Halloween. Aren't they the cutest??

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T18:21:00.001-07:00

You can't see the antennae but this is me on Halloween as the Martian girl.

An Underrated Classic!

2007-10-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, his Madonna at the end is DEAD ON! (And when you're done you can click on "White & Nerdy" at the bottom, which is so funny I cry.

Halloween Upon Us

2007-10-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I get to debut my Halloween costume. For the first time in six years, I will not be dressed up as a Martian. I shall instead be a Greek statue. My costume was too big and I had to take it apart and hand-sew it back together after alterations were made. It's not perfect but I figure that once the white makeup and white hair spray is on me, no one will really notice crooked seams and all that. The hard part is that I will have to wash my hair like 3 times in 3 days and that's really bad for me as I have very dry hair and it should only be shampooed every four days.

I will put in pictures as soon as I can and also, stayed tuned for picture from my vacation!

Okay, in case you want updates about my favorite reality shows, on Top Model Ebony was given the heave-ho though she was actually supposed to stay on and Ambreal was going to be sent packing but Ebony lost her interest in modeling and Tyra made a spur-of-the-moment booting.

I'm sure you all know that on Dancing with the Stars, Marie Osmond fainted right before judging. Her partner did not catch her! Too bad she wasn't paired up with the soap star who fancies himself as Superman and even danced to the awesome John Williams-composed Superman Theme Song, featured as my ring-back tone.

Finally, on Smartest Model, the fat dude stays on and instead his Bottom 2 counterpart, the lady with the fake boobs, was finally let go. Thank God! And even though VJ is gorgeous and physically my dream man, he's a conceited jerk so I hope he goes soon too. Or not....

Love Those Models!

2007-10-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

I got to watch my new favorite show tonight- "Amercia's Most Smartest Model". It stars Ben Stein, that monotoned giver-away of his own money who apperently also has a fetish for big boobs (how original) and Mary Alice Stephenson and about fifteen models, male and female, who are quizzed and then given prizes for their smarts which translate into advantages on their "call-back" challenges, which are all about modeling.

I can't believe how hilarious it is! I'm totally addicted. In one very funny challenge, the models are forced to recites lists (of as many as they can come up with) from random categories all while walking the catwalk to prove then can walk and talk at the same time. Well, one overly-augmented woman who is less high fashion than she is Playmate material (though her face is also weird because she's got huge fake lips as well), was given the category of "round things". She starts to walk the forked catwalk, first down the middle, and recites, "Balls, cherries, balloons, tires", then gets to the catwalk on the left and again says, "Balls, cherries, balloons, tires," then turns again to the right and again repeats, "Balls, cherries, balloons, tires". Ben Stein seems appalled that she could only think of four things and just repeats her choices over and over. Still, he's in love with her big rack so she's spared elimination. In tonight's episode she was asked what GOP stood for in regards to the Republican party and she says, "Um...Governor...of...Presidents?" Aaargh!

Meanwhile, over on Top Model, they gave the boot to Yale student Victoria, who would have had no problem with the quiz portions of Smartest Model but who took a not-too-good picture on Top Model and made things worse for herself by once again being smarmy and giving a bad attitude to Miss Twiggy. She was sent packing back to Yale and her fancy book-learnin'. Good riddance!

What About the Children?

2007-10-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

I happen to be home for lunch at a later time today. The reason is that the person who usually covers me at noon is out sick and our supervisor goes to lunch at noon- so I had to stay behind until about 1:15. Anyway, I decided to watch "Montel" because for once, he doesn't have "psychic Sylvia Browne" on. I remember the first time that woman was on the show and ever since Montel has had her repeatedly on the show and it seems every time I am able to watch (out sick, etc.) I can't because she's on and I am not into psychics.

Well, he is doing a show about vanishings/kidnappings and as he went into commercial (I started watching it really late into the show) I noticed that all the missing children he showed were black or Latino or even Asian. I've never seen this! I mean, I'm not trying to be this advocate for minorities but it's true- they just don't get the same press. When he came back from break he had the stroy of a young lady who graduate with honors from a prestigious school and disappeared. Sadly, I'd never heard of her. Obviously she did not end up on the covers of a bunch of magazines like Maddie McCann. Not that I'm saying that little girl should not be looked for. The following story was on a white little boy and apparently he was never seen again after 1976. I doubt he's still alive, then, especially since a convicted child rapist is implicated.

Actually, I saw in the newspaper that a 17-year-old girl was nearly nabbed right by my house. She was walking home around 7:55 pm when men in ski masks tried to take her. She grabbed on to a light post and they gave up. She later flagged down a patrol car and they found her with ripped clothes. Scary!

Nowadays, it's been in the news that the guy who took a little boy and when they found the boy they found ANOTHER boy with him who'd been missing for four years- that guy pleaded guilty and there will be no trial. Apparently, everyone's worst fears were true and these boys were repeatedly sodomized but the older boy DID try to prevent the man from taking the younger boy. There were videos made of the attacks/torture of both boys. That's another thing you see a lot lately- videos/pictures of child sexual abuse. I know it's gone on a long time but it's REALLY prevalent now. Somebody do something! This is a nightmare!

Weddings and Near Funerals

2007-10-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

I had the day off today and decided to do nothing. I had such a long week last week! I had gone to that wedding in the boonies on Saturday and then painters came Monday to begin the process of getting the house ready for possible family guests. What with my cousin's impending nuptials, people were flying in from all over. The house actually looked worse than ever for a while there but eventually all cleaned up nicely but the problem is the process was quite hard on my allergies and sinuses, which had already flared up the week prior after my friend's wedding in this dusty little town. My cousin's wedding was in a garden near Disneyland so even though I'd taken a Claritin earlier that day, I had also done some major cleaning in the house which had raised tons of dust (and had then gone shopping and rushed back to get ready and drive out to the wedding), and this garden was probably the last nail in the coffin.

The wedding itself was nice. I liked my cousin's dress and the setting was pretty. What was even better, though, was seeing family I had not seen in years. For example, the bride herself is someone I had not seen in about three years. I also met some cousing from Miami for the first time, as well as the bride's brother's little son. They'd flown in from El Paso. My aunt from San Francisco flew in with her husband and son. Her daughter couldn't make it- she's in New York. The son is someone I held in my arms when he was a baby and now he's an eighteen-year-old young man who is six feet tall. He was easily the most handsome guy there. The last time I saw him was my grandfather's funeral when he'd looked about the same except that he had a lot of baby fat. Now he's quite thin. His sister is also very good looking but as I said she wasn't there. They are all a very handsome family- my tiny aunt being cute and chic and her husband having a resemblance to Christopher Reeve. (I told him so and he said, "You're my favorite neice!") One of my cousins there is an Iraq veteran and I'd never met him before but his sisters insisted I go and stay with them in Miami one of these days. I was also invited to San Francisco and told I should stay with my New York cousin when I fly east for Walter's wedding in New Jersey.

I'm watching E's countdown of 25 Celebrity Near-Death experiences. Everything that could have brought you to your grave (or actually dying clinically) counts, including Mark Walhberg's missing his flight on September 11, 2001- a flight which we all know ended in horrible tragedy for thousands of people. The countdown also featured Eric Estrada's stunt gone wrong on CHiPs and the fact that his partner Larry Wilcox said, "He had that death look in his eyes I'd seen in Vietnam and in the hospital, a priest read him Last Rites." It also had the near-fatal multiple stabbing of an actress by her stalker over at Los Angeles City College, a college I attended.

This brings me to my own near-death experiences. Robyn Wright Penn handed over her car keys to car-jackers (after pleading for them to let her first remove her and Sean Penn's two children from the backseat) who claimed to have guns. It isn't clear if they did. Well, I actually had a guy pull a real gun in front of me. I was seventeen and cutting school with a motley crew of other metalheads and this one guy was driving us back to school where whe could board the school bus home but on the way there, a guy pulled up next to us and brandished a firearm and he yelled at our friend driving, "You cut me off, man! You cut me off!" My friend apologized and said he didn't realize it. We were almost the victims of road rage. About a year or two later another friend was driving us around Hollywood when a guy came out of his apartment and pointed a gun at us. Prior to that I'd had other near-death experiences. I'd survived a war, for one thing. I'd also survived measles and two bouts of malaria as a young child. I also had a bad touch of bronchitis. This was before age eight. During my eighth year I again faced death when I was hit by a car. I continued to do stupid things during high school which could have gotten me killed but I won't count them. But I will definitely count when I had my spleen ruptured and nearly bled to death internally. I guess much like Steven Segall, I'm hard to kill.

Not-so Naughty Girls Need Love Too

2007-10-03T23:15:00.001-07:00

Aaargh, I'm having such a tough time with Halloween this year! Well, it seems upper management took it upon themselves to make this the year where they hand out a cash prize to the Best Costume in the office. It's really not fair since last year- my first with the company- I wore a costume that I worked really hard on and everyone seemed to delight in and I was even told I was the best-dressed. Rats! And now I can't really think of a thing to wear!

If you're wondering what it was I wore last year, let's just say I dug up my old stand-by from the last six years but in my defense, I have to redo the actual costume (the part I wear on my body and not my head) every year. See, back in 2000 I went out and bought a flashy neon-pink wig at Hot Topic and at Party City I bought a pair of antennae and some bug-eye alien glasses and green face paint. Combining these elements I was the Girl from Alpha Centauri. Or whatever. Last year I wore the same wig, glasses, antennae and face paint but I dazzeled as well with my home-made plastic green dress I sewed myself and decorated with star stickers and my green tights and green arms (which were just a dab of green face paint and over which I wore cut-off green nylons which I'd painstakingly decorated with shimmering Sharpie squiggles).

Prior to being the Girl from Alpha Centauri every year I was a cow for a long time. I'd bought the costume back in 1993 in Hollywood and back then this outfit, complete with hilarious udders, was a novelty and I didn't feel bad about wearing store-bought. Now, though, I much prefer home-made creativity. But in the 90's I must say I got creative with best friend Walter who bought a very similar cow costume and we'd don them together and go grocery shopping. In July. It would have been quite uprorious anywhere else on earth but we were in Hollywood and no one batted an eye.

I perused Party City's catalog today and was disgusted to find that all costumes for women are of the slutty variety. It's like you have to be some skank out for cheap thrills to go out on Halloween! I suppose they figure decent women are out taking their kids trick-or-treating and that Christian women don't celebrate the stinking holiday. Not true on either count! But be that as it may- what's most upsetting is that they have these costumes not just in the adult women section but in the teenage girl section too! I mean, what kind of message are we sending here and what kind of school do they think will allow a girl to show up in a French Maid uniform? (I did back in 1990, I must confess. The football players seemed to like it.) Do you want your teenage daughter going out like this?

Even the Plus Size costumes are skanky. The usual Naughty Police Woman is kinda looking like she went to one too many donut shops and the Nun outfit in the Plus Sizes looks like she needs to say 25 Hail Mary's and 30 Our Father's for indulging in the Deadly Sin of Gluttony.

As if their regular costumes weren't skanky enough, they even have a "Flirty" variety which includes the collection that debuted last year from those brain-dead gals over at the Playboy mansion- The Girls Next Door. And their Premier section has some Betty Page costumes. I must admit, I like her. She was cool.

About the best I can come up with right now is to purchase one of their lame Greek Goddess costumes but spray paint it white and paint my skin white and my hair white and go as a Greek statue come-to-life. What do you think? Will I win the prize?

...And Justice for All

2007-09-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

People who follow true crime like me were well aware of the horrible sex tape featuring a little girl that suddenly exploded all over the news today. Thankfully, the girl is with her mother now and fine and the tape appears to have been about four years old. Still, when this item first surfaced I was struck with how this tiny figure in leopard-spotted pijamas could have wound up in the hands of this monster.

It caused me a lot of pain and I can't erase it now. Worst of all, I don't understand why the death penalty is considered barbaric. My father said this is the kind of crime that he would like to see receive justice of the so-called "uncivilized" variety. Me too! I know it's predictibly conservative to believe in capital punishment but actually, I was against it when I first became a Christian and believed all life should be valued especially because of my beliefs. And I didn't change my mind about it through preaching at my church or something. I mean, it's never talked about. Ever. But it happened in actuality of all things because of becoming a reader of true crime. That in itself was surprising- I'm pretty queasy about violence and horror and don't like slasher films nor do I read dark/horror books like Stephen King's. They depress me. But I did read books by a former FBI profiler (John Douglas) who through his writing convinced me that certain criminals (the worst kind) are manipulative, remorseless sociopaths and deserve death. He convinced the actor who played a similar profiler on "Silence of the Lambs" (based on Douglas) by playing the audiotape of women being raped and tortured which two serial-killing partners had made. That was all it took.

Those opposed see it as barbaric and in one documentary I saw a defense attorney talked about watching his client die in the gas chamber and considered it cruel and unusual because the guy wouldn't die and his ordeal took endless minutes. Well, you might feel sorry for him like I did at first but then the narrator goes on to mention the guy was being punished for the rape (/murder?) of a three-year-old girl! And today that is what we have seen all over the news: the still shots from a video of a man raping a three-year-old girl. To me, that guy's client died like a roach sprayed with RAID and that is what he deserved at the very least.

And for those who consider it weird that people against abortion and euthenasia can be for capital punishment, I really don't see how vacuuming an innocent baby from its mother's womb or starving to death a defenseless hospital patient can compare to ridding society of scum like that....that....vermin who stole the childhood from this precious little princess! I feel very sad about this case, very sad and very enraged and I want him caught. And oh, by the way- he won't die. This took place in Nevada. He's free to leech off society now for decades and decades.

Two Down....

2007-09-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

There was no mystery to the results shows for "America's Next Top Model" or "Dancing With the Stars" tonight. I actually watched ANTM a lot more closely than I did Dancing since the actual performances for the latter were on both Monday and Tuesday and I watched then. This year they had a two-night premier with the female celebs dancing on Monday and the men on Tuesday. One of the men, a supposed model, Rafael felt was not famous enough to be on the show at all. I mean, the guy himself said, "I'm the least famous person on this show." I'll say!

The problem with these celeb-reality shows is that they often scrape the barrel for stars willing to do these bizarre things on-camera for a chance to either reclaim the fame they once knew or make a name for themselves. So you wind up with true D-listers who are sad used-to-wasses or never-beens. I mean, I have much love for a lot of the stars who no longer shine as brightly but I am sort of fed up with these obscure faces with no names being billed as a "Star" as in Dancing with the "Stars". Anyway, I voted for Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. She's 56 and marvelous!

Over on ANTM, our second-favorite, Heather, has a condition called Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism. She reminds me of my cousin, the one who's getting married on October 6th. Not that my cousin is that weird or something...She's really pretty, mind you, so she'd have a shot on a show like ANTM had she tried out when she was still young enough. (That's a sad statement as she's only 27!) Rafael is excited about this development on the show as he works closely with kids with these conditions.

Cousin, and Heather

My actual #1 pick for ANTM this year is Lesa, though Heather is a close second. Lesa is very pretty (actually, Kathy, she reminds me of you if you're reading this) and she was in foster care for six years (there's a nod to MY work!) and she is also an "exotic dancer" though she made it clear she's neither dancing nude nor topless but only in a bikini. Still, one of the other girls to offense took this somehow and for no particular reason. So now they are enemies though by the end of the show they supposedly made up. And, Mila got the boot. She's a nice-looking girl, and curvy, but she took a sort of vacuous picture.

That's two models down. Because over on"Dancing", they eliminated a model too. But not the no-name male model Rafael and I didn't like. It was a woman- a "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit model who got really low scores though I feel she didn't do that poor a job. Unfortunately for her, the truly awful dancer of the bunch was Wayne Newton but "Mr. Las Vegas" obviously has a huge fanbase and she was no match for him. So we get to cringe for at least one more week as we watch him move with no grace at all...I mean, nice try man but fair is fair! Still, I am not emotionally attached to anyone at all this time so I'm not watching the same degree of anticipation as last time. It sort of takes the fun out of it too. How I wish "Project Runway" would start already!

Love is in the Air....

2007-09-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

I just exercised. I'm proud of myself. I mean, I used to do it very regularly but had stopped for a while. Finally sick of myself, I decided to go back to a regular regimen of exercise.

Actually, part of is that I have about 4 weddings to go to and I don't want to look like crap. On Saturday, one of my oldest and dearest friends (and the one responsible for my becoming a metalhead- God bless her) is getting married. She is actually not really considering this her wedding as she plans to marry in the Catholic Church in September of next year but by Church rules her future husband needs to become confirmed in the faith and in order for even that to happen, they need to be legally married ASAP because right now they are living in sin. This Saturday is her parents' 40th wedding anniversary so they plan to have a get-together to mark both occasions, and to this is what I have been invited.

I am also planning to attend my cousin's wedding on October 6th, just a short week later! This is an actual wedding ceremony although she has apparently forbidden her father to either drink or make a speech, his two trademarks! (This is according to her own mom but I don't know for sure. My dad's forbidden to drink too, not that I blame them...). I plan to sneak a bottle of Scotch into the party for him and then when the DJ introduces the "father of the bride" I'll start chanting, "Speech! Speech! Speech!" Or not....her future husband is a cop and he might taser me. I'll have to yell, "Don't taser me, cousin-in-law! No! Ow! Owwwww!" (Just kidding)

Then on November 10th I'm supposed to be in New Jersey, where one of my best friends happens to live with his partner and as it so happens where gay men can get married or at least have a civil union. I can't afford it, however, so I'm not sure how I'm going to pull THAT one off....But I already know if I don't go he'll be dreadfully p.o.'d.

And I just found out that just three months later I am to fly to Florida for the wedding of a girl whose family home we stayed in at one point in Nicaragua as we drove from city to city avoiding death during the war. While we stayed there our German Sheppard puppy was bitten by a scorpion and died, not a casualty of war per se but a casualty nontheless. Well, she's marrying a guy whose family owns a large house reminiscent of the plantation Tara from "Gone With the Wind". He's also a Southern Baptist who recently converted to Catholicism for her. I can't get men to convert for me- what gives????? And before you assume SHE gave- she didn't. She firmly told him no sex until marriage. GOOD FOR HER!!!

Meanwhile I can't even use the addage "Always the bridesmaid but never the bride" as none of these good friends have asked me to be in their wedding! Well, I have hopes for Marci the Metalhead as her REAL wedding isn't until September '08, as I said. We'll see....And maybe even my Floridian War Buddy might ask me. That would be nice!

Anyway, I wish all the best and lots of love to all my fortunate and wonderful friends in their future marriages.

The Only Sure Thing

2007-09-22T12:13:00.001-07:00

I was reading the Blog of Death and found that on their list of Dead Playboy Playmates, a remarkable amount of these women met tragic ends via accidental drug overdoses (Anna Nicole and Marilyn Monroe, for example) or they were in fatal car wrecks (can blond bimbos not handle a car??) or they were murdered. This does not bode well for women who make a living in the sex industry.

Actually, yesterday I was at 7-11 and while I waited for some dumb broad to be convinced by the cashier that they HAD given her the amount of Quick Pick Lotto numbers she'd bought, I glanced down at the magazine rack and noticed Maxim. It of course had a famous woman in a bra on the cover. It makes me mad as I've said before that women are still expected- or worse, that we've gone back to this expectation from years back- to be sex objects in order to get the same fame and recognition their male counterparts get by just being actors. This month's hot ticket is TV's newest Lois Lane, as portrayed by Erica Durance on "Smallville". I love Superman and related things but "Smallville" has departed so much from the original and most traditional story behind the Man of Steel that I can't watch it. Such as Lois Lane meeting Clark Kent while he was still IN Smallville. This is ridiculous. Anyway, it's even more ridiculous for Erica Durance to allow herself to be photographed and featured in a bra on this scummy magazine. She should rely soley on talent, shouldn't she, for her fame. I mean, she's worn less on the show I think so it might not seem like a big deal but that's precisely the point! Most people would point to Tom Welling's frequent shirtlessness on the show as equality between the sexes but I'm not saying it should be done at all, to either gender. I think that the show's refusal to show a young Superman in his famous tight blue suit has forced them to convince viewers that Tom Welling is a viable Man of Steel by displaying his physique the next best way: in the raw. I'm not really certain it's meant to satisfy the petty appetites of female (and gay?) viewers.

Anyway, it seems back in August the oldest living person died in Japan to be replaced by an American woman born in 1893! Today, my own grandfather would have turned 100 had he lived. To mark the occasion, his favorite child, my dad's little adopted sister, flew to New York and is in Yankee Stadim right now in honor of her daddy's obsession with baseball in general and the Yankees in particular. He died at the age of almost 95 and his wife of 70 years died last year at the same ripe old age.

Will The Juice Walk Again? (And Other Musings)

2007-09-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

I think he will. I mean, so far it doesn't seem the whole armed robbery thing will stick. Maybe I'm wrong and I don't have all the facts but I just hope those who are itching to see him do time for ANYTHING because he "got away with murder" keep in mind that this wouldn't exactly be justice. I mean, yes, we sent Al Capone to jail for tax evasion rather than for all the racketeering and related crimes (including murder) he committed and that was "good enough" for most people, if anything just to end the terror, but I don't think that O.J. going to jail for a crime like armed robbery is quite the same as him being found guilty thirteen years ago. I think that if O.J. beats this rap and is left free to go about his usual apparently sociopathic business, he will once again hook up with some woman, once again be abusive to her, and probably but most sadly of all, once again (if you believe he is guilty) commit murder in a rage of passion. I guess that's enough "just cause" to stick him in the slammer.

On a totally unrelated topic, tonight is a new premiere for "America's Next Top Model"! Yes, our favorite reality contest show about women who are forced to do stupid and unnecessary things by Tyra Banks to "prove" they are worthy of being supermodels only to find themselves in career limbo a few short weeks later, is back! Let's hope today's 13 girls are less blah than last year's. If it wasn't for muttery Jael, who was really too ugly (sorry, girl) for TV, much less fashion magazines, the whole show would have been a bore. Let's hope for another Jade, that egomaniac who was less supermodel and more drag queen (and OLD drag queen, at that!) and kissed a cockroack for the title. I'd love some of that!

Finally, in an even more unrelated note, I was going to see "December Boys" because it's about adoption (go down about 2 blog posts) but I found out Daniel Radcliffe has a sex scene in it. Ewwwww! I, like, do NOT want to see lik'l 'arry Potter getting deflowered by some skank. It's bad enough he ran around naked among horses in that play he did before he was even legal. When the posters were flashed all over my favorite celebrity-stalker shows I was like "My EYES! My EYES!" Anyway, it was disconcerting and I wanted to throw an Invisibility Cloak over my favorite magical little boy. I would adopt him in a heartbeat.

Well, I gotta go....I'm watching people get criticized for their Emmy fashion choices, such as Judith Light's bare arms which "really aged her". (Which is inaccurate as they loved Sally Field's strapless dress and said she aged gracefully. What really aged Light was the loose fold of skin sitting on top of the dress. Better luck next time, Angeler. Oh, at least they loved Heidi Klum as did I!)

Is it Just Me???

2007-09-17T18:21:00.000-07:00

Things that make you go Hmmm...

I'm all for free speech and I feel that if someone wants to be (in my opinion) stupid and blaspheme (thereby really asking for God's wrath) that's their (again, my personal opinion) stupid problem.

But something I read in a Catholic website (keep in mind, I am not Catholic) really spoke to me. It read that the remarks comedian Kathy Griffin made at a an Emmy ceremony were taken too lightly by the attendees. The writer of the article in this Catholic website said that if Kathy Griffin had made comments against the prophet Mohammed or Islam in general that there would have been a completely different reaction than there was to her "Jesus can suck it!" quip at the awards. (I feel horrible just writing that.)

I agree. I don't care what Kathy Griffin thinks, especially because I'm not stupid and I know she did to get a rise out of people, to get notoriety, to get off the D-List, whatever...I personally will just never support her again- same as I've done with others who have said something against God, even if it can be called "an innocent joke" such as writers for "The Simpsons" (which USED to be my favorite show but I have not watched now in about five or six years), writers for "Sex and the City" and countless others. This is not going to affect any of them adversely, they won't have even noticed I am sure, and maybe they feel proud of having turned off a Christian viewer forever; but that is not what I'm writing about here, make no mistake about it.

The point is that a lot of supposedly brave people who want to take on "the establishment" and see that as being a right wing Christian establishment like to earn brownie points with the Hollywood mafia by saying disgusting things about Jesus or God (the God of the Bible, that is, not Buddha or some other more revered and less hated god) but you won't catch these "brave" and oh-so-in-your-face folks making remarks about Islam and its prophet. You can catch Madonna kissing saints and writhing on the floor with rosaries and hanging from a cross but you won't catch the immarterial girl (who dares to take on the name of Esther, a righteous and TRULY BRAVE woman) doing anything that would upset the Muslim community. Oh no! Not beyond being herself which is of course offensive to their sensibilities as the lifestyles of a lot of Western and otherwise irreligious (non-Muslim) women must seem.

I am frankly very sick of these people who want to "stick it" to the likes of Jesus, who died for them and never mind that, who lived for truth and love and righetousness because he's an easy target for them. But that's fine- they have a first amendment right to do so. I just wish that the next time people are expected to apologize for offending a race of people (black people, Jews, et al) or a sexual orientation of people, those who fire them from their TV shows or ban their films will remember this standard when hiring, giving accolades and awards to and otherwise rewarding those who take what is sacred and holy and most important to a group of people and step on it and smear it and flush it down the toilet without a care.

Now I must go pray for God to forgive that horrible woman....

Adoption(s)

2007-09-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, my dear departed Hermes (the cat) came from the local animal shelter (pound) and lately I have been wanting to adopt a female kitty and have of course wanted one from the same pound as I want to rescue a cat rather than purchase one. I checked their website and saw woeful pictures of cats waiting for adoption. It was so sad I cried. I looked at some dogs but most of them are Pit Bulls, which scare the daylights out of me, so I clicked out of that and went to male cats. There's less of them than females so I don't know how I ended up with only male cats! Mikey was a stray and though I didn't get him at the pound, he came to my backyard and ended up my pet. Poor baby, may he rest in peace. Mr. Julie had the same history but thankfully he's still alive and well and he's quite a loving animal companion. Still, I do want to give him a little girlfriend though I'm not sure how he'll react to it. Right now, though he's neutered, he does still go out and chase girl-cats and he was seeing a kitty I named Hipolita regularly but I think I saw poor Hippies smeared onto the street right by the entrance to the freeway.

That reminds me! A stupid little dog ran across the street yesterday as I drove back to work from lunch and I had to swerve my car to avoid hitting it. I also drove up to the nearest place where I could do a legal u-turn and went back to make sure I hadn't hit him. I parked on a side street, checked under my car, and then wondered where he could be. Soon enough I noticed he was a half a block away, happily skipping along smelling flowers and (presumably) looking for water. I cursed at it....well, I waved my fist at him and said, "Stupid little dog! I almost killed myself for you!" and drove off.

So as of now, I have no new pets and will possibly keep it that way. I love animals but lately and for biological reasons I have been utterly dying for a baby. A human baby, that is. I looked at adoption websites and noticed the whole endeavor is quite pricey. I may never marry at this rate and so may never have a baby on my own and even though I'd always planned to adopt, even if I got married, I was thinking of adopting one on my own, as a single mom. It might not be the best thing to do for a child....but sometimes it can't be helped. That is, in situations like the one I might end up in without really trying. See, I have a cousin who's dying of cancer and she's a new mother. I'm thinking I will adopt her baby if she passes. Hopefully she won't, though...I'm praying for her. Actually, she's already lived longer than expected so hopefully she'll beat this thing. But if she doesn't, I want to take care of her daughter. She's got other more immediate family I'm sure is more than willing to raise this child but none in the good ol' U.S. of A. and maybe they'll acquiesce because of this factor. Or not...maybe the baby is all they'll have left of the memory so they will desperately want her. I am behind any decision, of course.

Excitement Dies (Along with Man) on My Street

2007-09-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

I've been living in this quiet suburb for eleven years now. The street the house is on is pretty major and gets lots of traffic, so it can get a little noisy; but overall it's a decent neighborhood and we've had pretty good neighbors up to now. One next-door neighbor, however, passed away a couple of years ago and she couldn't have been quieter. The family that "replaced" her is not bad, though. The most noise they make is an occasional small party and sometimes the kids play basketball and the noise of the ball hitting pavement is annoying, but no more annoying than the kids on the opposite side practing skateboard tricks on a makeshift ramp.

Well, one source of excitement for our street has always been the fact that a few blocks away lived a mentally ill man who sometimes didn't take all his meds and caused disturbances that brought about major police presence. As a matter of fact, four years ago I couldn't get home because the police had closed off the street from one major intersection to the other, about eight blocks. I wasn't even sure what the source of all this trouble was but found out through an unlikely source: a co-worker in a different city had lived here or knew relatives who did or something and he told me that a mentally ill man would sometimes go off his meds and cause problems involving the police.

So when last Sunday police started arriving en force and going toward that end of the street, I suspected our friend was off his meds again. Pretty soon things got serious and there was a fire truck, an ambulance, several more police vehicles, and a helicopter overhead. Eventually the police went about closing off the street again. And I saw police tape go up. At first I thought I'd imagined it but soon they had a bright light up, like the kind used in stadiums, and I could see it clearly so I thought: "This is bad. It's a crime scene now." Also, by then the ambulance had sped off with its siren blaring and so I knew someone was hurt. Actually, at the time I thought it was him, and that they'd managed to subdue him and he was being carted off to the mental ward. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. My brother discovered days later in the newspaper that there had been an altercation: the mentally ill man had gotten mad at neighbors for throwing a (presumably loud) pool party and had gone there with a six-inch folding knife which he then used to attack a man. In the article his mom was quoted as saying, "He's a very gentle and kind man" but I said, "Yeah, when he's not stabbing someone repeatedly in the head!" Unfortunately, all humor aside, the ambulance I guess carted off the neighbor for he ended up in county hospital in stable condition though he'd bled profusely from his stab wounds but the outcome was he had wrestled the knife from the hands of his mentally disturbed assailant and killed him in self-defense. All while a bunch of kids were in the pool!

I know that even though my street was at times inconveniently closed off, I will miss the excitement that poor crazy dude brought to this otherwise-quiet suburb.

Past Lives

2007-08-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

I've been on the computer all day and my vision is getting blurry. But I haven't been pointlessly surfing the net or checking myspace. I was actually trying to do something constructive. But when I did finally check myspace, I had a new friend request and I was like, ok, what weirdo is writing to me now about "let's hook up" and what-not....Well, it wasn't a guy. It was a girl who asked me if I remembered her, that we went to elementary school together! Now hold up a minute, I thought. Can this be?

You see, I have long wanted to hook up with old school chums from way way back, and I do mean way back, even before high school. For this Classmates dot com can't help. And alas, most gals get married and change their last name so I have no hope of finding them, even if I can remember their names, which I often can't. You see, I went to 3 elementary schools, 3 junior high schools and 5 high schools. So it's hard to keep track. But there are some very prominent memories of some great times with fun people I wish I could re-live. Sometimes the past is better off left alone though, so I hope this person doesn't ruin my wonderful memories for me, ha ha. No, I doubt she will. She says she has drawings I did. This is not uncommon. I want to contact my best friend from middle school because she kept 3 notebooks full of stories I wrote which she loved. She encouraged me a lot, she did, saying I was smarter than her and that I should be going on to Yale (as she did eventually). She read a lot, too, and we both became big fans of "Gone With the Wind", her favorite book. Good times in eigth grade! I lost track of her eventually. She got ready to go to Yale and I started hanging out with an out gay friend and that was where we parted ways. I wonder if she's a doctor now...?

Fwd: Annoying e-mail which may damage our friendship

2007-08-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

I hate forwarded e-mails. I hate getting ominous warnings that turn out to be hoaxes (some of which are so old I am well aware they are a hoax for I've looked them up on Snopes ages ago or they even appear in my Urban Legends book); I hate chain letters that tell you if you don't send the e-mail to at least "10 people you love" or "20 friends" or what-have-you then your computer will get some horrible virus or worse- you'll die alone. And I also, despite having a good sense of humor, hate getting jokes.

Still, I just read a joke that I surprisingly enjoyed. It was clean, for one thing. It goes as follows: A minister was visiting parishoners one Saturday morning when he got to a house with the car in the driveway and other obvious signs that the person he was calling on was at home. Still, when he knocked on the door and called out, no one came to the door. Feeling a bit upset, he left his card with Revelation 3:20 scrawled on it. The next day, Sunday, he received in the collection plates his card back with the cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 and not quite knowing what this Scripture said he looked it up in his Bible and then errupted in laughter. Revelation 3:20 says "Here I am. I stand at the door and knock" and the response, Genesis 3:10 read "I heard your voice in the garden and hid for I was naked and was afraid."

Hope you liked it too. If not, at leasts I didn't send it to you via email. But if you don't copy this blog post and post it onto your own blog, your readership will dwindle and Tom will cancel your myspace account. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Ridiculously Low Funds Do Not a Pampered Princess Make

2007-08-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch," warned the wise Aesop and yet still I persist in dreaming of a plumper paycheck that may facilitate that lifestyle I crave: that of pampered princess. Okay, before you get worked up about my sick fantasy here, I don't mean I'd like to be this ill-tempered spoiled brat or anything, I just want to literally be pampered! If I'd been able to get some of the jobs I've recently sent out resumes for, I could get regular facials, massages, pedicures and conditioning treatments. (Sometimes when I really fly in the face of Aesop's wisdom, I also crave a new car, but not some shiny envy-enducing machine of pure glamour or speed, just a brand new Saturn as opposed to my eleven-year-old one.)

As it is all I can afford are monthly facials. This might seem pointless because the good Lord has blessed me with wonderful genes and I still get carded once in a while. (Like the last time I was at Trader Joe's and bought some wine, the college-aged cashier asked for my ID and I felt like crying, "Bless you, sonny!") So anyway...some might think I'd be better off using my feeble funds on a nice massage or that perhaps a pedicure would be more in order. Well, I do like pedicures during summertime as I wear open-toed shoes a lot and I guess it's best to have French-tipped toes peeping out at the world...and I've tried massages but they're not the calming, relaxing near-heavenly experience I expected: they are tortorous! Especially when they go over my poor damaged tissue on the left side of my back, where I once had my spleen kicked open maliciously. Facials, on the other hand, are indeed quite heavenly, especially when done right. I have a wonderful esthetician and even though it seems the spa she works in is kind of on the pricey side and I might be able to get cheaper ones, I don't have the heart to stop going to her. Plus, she's a Black Belt in Karate so I'm sure I don't have the guts to either.

Alas, I stupidly put in $5 of my hard-earned cash to the office lottery pool and I was even chosen to go buy it as my luck has yet to be tried. I don't believe in lotteries and I doubt very much we'll win and the point was ever-more painful as I handed the cashier $65 and received a handful of tickets with Quick Picks printed on them in return.

TV Themes Part II Sneak Preview

2007-08-02T17:50:00.000-07:00

Everyone appreciates a good TV theme song, and as I said in my earlier post, the best ones are the ones you can dance to. Case in point (and one of my favorite TV moments ever!): the Fresh Prince of Bel Air family goes on "THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW" and this goes down in the green room:

Beware the "Experts"

2007-07-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, what's the deal? First, I take Rafael's crazy personality quiz and it rates me very low as far as intellect and they didn't even have any questions to test my intellect! It was obviously solely based on the fact that as far as religion was concerned, I answered "Yes" to a belief in God and "Yes" to the questions about putting my religious belief system as the most important thing in my life.

Another annoying thing is that in a debate about whether college professors are "too liberal" I saw on TV, someone said that Christians are simply not good enough to be in institutions of higher learning. Uh, WHAT? I couldn't believe the prejudice, the arrogance!

Finally, I must point out something I have pointed out before (but was probably NOT READ as my dearly beloved blog audience rarely pays any attention to what may be considered my rants about religion)--and that is that you must read the Bible yourself. Don't take your college professor's word for it as to what the Bible really says. I have been duped myself. That is, I got an A in a Philosophy of Religion class, for example, because I dutifully studied what the professor wanted and regurgitated his notes back to him on tests. Well, a few months later I was a Christian and was ASTOUNDED as to all the lies this guy taught. He said slanderous untrue things about the apostle Paul.

Speaking of Paul, one great illustration that blew me away was given by a minister at my church and he wasn't even TALKING about that subject, it was just an anecdote. He stated that when he was 20 and had just become a Christian, he was in class and he said that his professor, who was a New Testament Scholar, made a comment about Paul being very vague all the time. So he got up and flipped over to a Scripture in the Bible which stated in no uncertain terms what types of things are considered sin. It's a really strong Scripture. The reaction of his professor was amazement and she asked him, "How did you do that?" He asked, "How did I do what?" and she said, "How did you just flip over to the Scripture you wanted just like that?" He was like, WHAT? She's amazed that I know where the Scriptures are??? I was shocked too, hearing this, especially because I know exactly where to find Scriptures too, and I have read the whole Bible and continue to re-read it all the time, learning more and more. It's taught me a lot, not the least thing being that the so-called experts are mostly impostors and frauds and I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. If someone who can make a false statement about Paul like that can get a job teaching religion and have the title of "New Testament Scholar", that is a sad, sad day. They should take their agenda of discrediting the Bible to a debate and not teach lies as facts in order to spread the hatred and prejudice against all things Christian. Peace out.

Themes to Our Favorite Shows

2007-07-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to TV theme songs? They used to really gear you up for the show and made the TV-watching experience that much more enjoyable. Nowadays, TV execs are freaked out that the MTV generation and its spawn the Play Station generation have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD and they don't give us good tunes to groove to- they just jump right into the action. I hate that! So TV themes started to die out in the 90s with "Seinfeld", the show about nothing with the nothing theme. What a tragedy.

Some people are enamored of theme songs that tell a story or basically explain what the show you're about to sit down and watch is about. Classic examples of this are "Gilligan's Island" with its tale of a three-hour-tour gone wrong (complete with a run-down of who is stranded on the island). Don't you wish "Lost" had done this? And of course, there are those Alan Thicke-penned gems like "The Facts of Life" and "Growing Pains".

But for me the true favorites are those I can dance to. I mean, there are TV theme songs that I get up and jump around clapping to and they just put me in a good mood. Some are classic 70s funk stuff and others are 80s synth, and there are two gospel lovelies which top the list for me. Please do enjoy:

CHIPS FIRST SEASON

CHIPS DISCO VERSION

SWAT (I actually danced to this at a club & the boy I was with asked, "What's this again?" and I said, "SWAT" and he said, "You're good." Didn't he know what a big couch potato he was gettin' jiggy with? )

STARKSY & HUTCH FUNKY FINE

STARSKY & HUTCH THEME I WAS MOST FAMILIAR WITH GROWING UP

KNIGHT RIDER FIRST SEASON PURE 80s!

IN A CATEGORY OF ITS OWN

(THE SECOND SEASON HAD A VERY SURFER FEEL BUT I LIKE THIS BEST)

THIS ONE GOES OUT TO RAFAEL 'CAUSE HE LOVES IT!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

THIS ONE I INCLUDE BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST SHOW EVER, NOT NECESSARILY FOR THE THE THEME MUSIC BUT IT AIN'T BAD AT ALL!

SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST! IF YOU DIDN'T GET UP TO DANCE YOU'RE A SOULLESS TROLL!

Oh, the Inhumanity!

2007-07-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

I am so sickened by this awful dog-fighting ring case that has splashed all over the news of late! Of course it involves a famous athelete (allegedly) and that is why it is Big News. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes the celebrity angle for people to care about something. I am a cat lover and I much rather own a cat (or be owned by one) than a doggie but I am still horrified by some of the details that have come out. I won't even repeat them as they are too stomach-turning and infuriating for me to have on this here blog-o'-mine, which is mostsly frivilous.

Some people think that a guy who didn't committ a crime "directly" isn't as criminally responsible for said crime but if this guy had an illegal dog-fighting ring operation taking place on his property, and worse, if he sanctioned it, to me he should be doing hard time despite his not being the one to put the dogs to death by his own hand. I mean, I always joke that I wouldn't be afraid of Charles Manson if I saw him in a dark alley because he didn't kill anyone himself--I'd be more afraid of Squeaky Frome or Tex Watson--but of course I think he's guilty as sin! He is the one who got these people to go out there and carve that baby out of Sharon Tate's belly. He's a madman and a killer, though he maybe never laid a hand on anyone.

Anyway, I feel that someone running this type of operation is a serial killer. He or she didn't just kill one dog but dozens. Maybe a dog's life isn't "as valuable" as human being's but I don't think six years--which is apparently the maximum the culprit will serve--is enough. I think he should do at least fifteen. No one should be allowed to get away with doing this to defenseless animals. Sure, we don't normally consider pit bulls "defenseless" but they are against depraved sociopaths with no conscience like those involved in this most haneous of cases.

I Can't Believe it Either

2007-07-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

So I was having a very peaceful day at work thanks to my determination to just trust God when I got a text message toward the middle of the day which was sent out to several people at once asking who was available for a Bible study or babysitting. I wrote back with a sigh, "I can do it." I haven't made myself available for much of anything in a long time due to my health but I'm sick of standing on the sidelines. I dread babysitting so I was hoping to be in on the study.

Unfortunately, they had enough people for that so I was indeed assigned diaper duty. Well, I drove out to my friend's house (about fifteen minutes) and found parking then walked to her townhouse. She was finishing up a London broil she made for dinner. Soon, another person arrived, this one a mommy who had to leave her kids with her husband. We decided to eat because the person studying the Bible to restore herself to her former faith (she had been a Christian some time ago but had left) had not shown up and it didn't seem like she would. She has no phone to get a hold of her on so we just ate.

But lo and behold, after a while of sitting around eating steak with the caramelized cauliflower and jasmine rice, who should show up but our honored guest with her two kids (my charges for the night). She was really hungry so she joined us, then one more person came, whose birthday it was.

Well it turns out we didn't study the Bible because the kids were a little too wound up and could not be away from their mother. But the strange thing was that this person remembered me though I couldn't place her at all. When we were "introduced" last night she said, "I know Wendy. When I was in the teen ministry I used to admire her. I told my friends, 'When I grow up I'm going to be just like her.'" I almost choked on my food! I had no idea anybody ever felt that way about me, especially in the Teens. I felt I'd had such little impact on that ministry. Aw, chucks. That's so darn sweet!

Who Woulda Thunk It

2007-07-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

The other day I was looking for something interesting to read so I Googled book recommendations and one thing led to another...and before long I was checking out what the bestselling books of all time were. I already knew that the Bible was #1 (duh) but I was kind of happy to see that women feature prominently (also knew J.K. Rowlings was way up there, with Harry Potter) and that Judy Blume had a few books in the list for children's books.

As for the Bible, it certainly has had its influence, including in odd places like a Portishead song. I remember when I first got "Dummy" (for free), their outstanding debut, I fell in love with every one of the songs but one of my favorites was "Wandering Star". Here's the chorus:

Wandering stars,

For whom it is reserved,

the blackness of darkness, forever,

Wandering stars,

For whom it is reserved,

The blackness of darkness, forever.

Well, five years later I was a Christian and one day while reading the Bible for the first time, I discovered some "familiar" words in the Book of Jude:

12These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead. 13They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

I wonder if they just flipped through the Bible and found this and wrote a song around it or just how this ended up in one of the coolest indie albums ever?

PS Happy Fourth of July!!!!

out of words

2007-06-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

RV3 wanted me to post a blog that I wrote but never published. It was about TV theme songs. The thing is I've done the TV thing to death here. He also wanted me to blog about that personality test he did because I complained that it was totally bogus. But I've also done the discrimination-against-christians thing to death.

So where does that leave me? In light of various cases of people being fired for a blog or dubious myspace page, I can't even complain about my job.

This leaves me in a bit of a pickle as my life revolves around religion, working, and TV. And speaking of pickles, I can't blog about that because lucy4 (the mommy-to-be who will probably be hitting the pickle jar HARD now!) and kathy have both blogged about my favorite salty treats.

And I'm sure no one wants to hear about my weird dreams, my recent reads or my family drama....

If I think of something I'm sure you'll be the first to know.

New Addition

2007-06-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

I really want another cat. That is, I want a female cat. The night I brought Julie in the house to stay for the first time (right after the tragic death of Mikey), I was so excited! I told "her" it was going to be "us girls" and I lit a scented candle and burned lavender oil and turned on my pretty Japanese lamps. I put on "her" new pink collar and I was so happy with my new pet.

Well, as you know, when I took Julie to be "spayed" the vet called and said, "Surprise! Julie's a boy! That's right, you'll need to take that pink collar off him. I guess you couldn't tell what he was with all that hair back there." So I went out and bought him a new black studly collar and renamed him MR. JULIE. I know. Big change, right? Well, I was used to the name and so was he! I love Mr. Julie very much and I'm very happy with him. He's the cat I always wanted- he's sweet and a lap cat like Mikey but without being as nutty and clingy as Mikey. And he's aloof like a cat ought to be but not as detached as Hermes was. I love Hermes forever but he had such trust issues! (pictured: Mr. Julie a year ago) I recently read an article about cats and the pictures were so gorgeous! One cat had the same face as Julie but he was white and short-haired. One cat who was pictured on the toilet was all-black and his tag read "Panther". It's funny because I always wanted a black cat. If I had a black queen I'd name her Eclipsis. I've named Mr. Julie's girlfriend Hyppolita after Wonder Woman's mother, the Amazon queen. But she hasn't been around. I think Mr. Julie's through with her. I also love Russian Blue cats and I almost got one years ago. He came over to the front step and was a full-grown cat and I fed him but he never came back! That's unusual for a cat so either he got run over or he didn't like the cheap cat food I gave him.

It's very hard to find a female cat the way I found my other cats but I've learned most tri-colored cats are female, the colors coming from the x chromosome. So I guess I just have to look for a calico. I mean, one more cat doesn't make any difference, as I learned during that brief time I had both Hermes and Mikey (and Julie was outside!) because they don't even stay indoors half the time. The key is to get one before Mr. Julie is too old as he won't like having a new cat around. Hermes was way too mature when I brought in Mikey and was cosequently resentful and took to going outside and staying there more and more, which I felt terribly guilty about when he died. I can't make that mistake twice. So it's decision time, I guess. Right now the chances are slim because I'm not going out looking for a cat and unless one "shows up" like Mikey and Julie did, I doubt I'll have that second cat after all. (pictured: a Calico named June-Bug. Very cute!) I guess it'll have to be just Julie and me (pictured up top)

Obama Speaks out on Faith

2007-06-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Across the country individual churches are helping the poor and offering all kinds of social programs and faith is helping many Americans who want more than possesions, good jobs or to just be busy.This is a statement made by Barack Obama in a speech addressing the religious divide in America. He makes note of people like Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr. who practiced religion and instituted great changes in the country. I recently made that connection when I realized, HEY! People are constantly saying what idiots Christians are and yet there are many, many Christians who have made enormous contributions to America, and it's great to have that re-inforced by Obama. I obviously disagree with A LOT of things he says. He takes certain Scriptures out of context and this is an error many (even so-called) Christians make who don't read the entire Bible or who wait for others to interpret it for them. They don't STUDY it.

He obviously doesn't believe that the Bible is always right. But it doesn't matter because there is a seperation of church and state, as well it should be. So I am willing to overlook that. He talks about Christians being pigeonholed as right-wing conservatives/Republicans...which has happened to me. I don't totally disagree with Republicans and I don't completely agree with Democrats. So in looking for the perfect compromise I have to look at someone who isn't completely anti-religion and who therefore views all Christians with extreme prejudice and hatred, and someone who isn't completely closed off into a certain definition of what a Christian should vote for. So far Obama has made the greatest attempt to bridge this gap.

The Wisdom of TV

2007-06-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

Saw an interesting "Kate & Allie" today. This was a show set in NYC in the mid-to-late 80s about two divorced women who share an apartment with their two teenage daughters and the requisite "cute kid" (Allie's son). I remember watching it when it first ran but I have to tell you, I was too young to really appreaciate it. It wasn't this super-sophisticated show by any means but it did have more adult topics (like dating for divorced women) that were rather boring for a kid.

The episode I speak of has Kate and Allie scrambling to find a new apartment when Kate's landlady (the apartment they share is leased to Kate) drops in and reminds Kate that she's renting a "one-family dwelling" and that because she's crammed another family in the apartment, they will have to pay extra.

As the landlady leaves she tells them that if they were married- even to each other- it would be different.

So when they fail to find a new place, they come to the decision that they should pretend to be gay. It all backfires, however, when the landlady becomes excited about it because she is a lesbian. She brings over her "lover" (it's sort of an outdated term now) and they have coffee and cake. Suddenly, Allie feels rotten as she now personally knows the landlady and her lover and can't stand living a lie. Kate keeps badgering her about going along with it out of the sheer necessity.

Unfortunately, the two friends-come-lesbian-lovers find themselves in a bit of a pickle when landlady and lady-friend invite them to a gay dance at the "gay center". The night of the dance Allie gets jittery and refuses to go so Kate has a talk with her which (yikes!) the landlady overhears. Having been lied to, the older lady gets her coat and her lover and is ready to march out the door, stating she's tired of being condescended to by people who think they are better.

This is the interesting part. Kate says, "Now wait a minute..." and reminds the lesbian landlady that she was about to increase their rent because they weren't gay. The landlady says that's different- the lease clearly stipulates that it's a "one-family dwelling" they rent. At this, Kate again reminds her that as a gay couple, many people wouldn't accept the two older ladies as a family, so who are they to "decide" which family is really a family. She tells them they of all people should know this is unfair.

Since sitcoms have to wrap things up nicely in 22 minutes, the landlady realizes the error and hypocrisy of her ways and asks Kate and Allie if they'll still be friends and will they still go to the dance. (They will and they do.)

I really liked the episode because on the one hand they made their political point of making the gay ladies likeable to Kate and Allie and just a normal couple but they also showed how even an oppressed group of people can turn around and oppress others or be hypocritical toward others by asking for rights they won't give others. I'm not dumping this on the laps of homosexuals only, of course, but to all people who would run us Christians out of town in the name of freedom. Trying to clamp our mouths shut or trying to squash our religion is no better than these two ladies being treated inhumanly.

SERIOUSLY SICK

2007-05-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to one of my all-time favorite songs, "TV Party Tonight" by Black Flag. It totally describes how I feel...even though they wrote it to illustrate the stupidity of the TV generation. But I just LOOOOVE the chorus: "We've got nothing better to do...than to watch TV and have a couple of brews...." I also love where they say: "Don't talk about anything else, we don't wanna know- we're dedicated to our favorite shows" and they shout out a bunch of shows like "Dallas!" or "That's Incredible!" I roll every time!

The best part is when they say "I wouldn't be without my TV for a day (Or even a minute!) Don't bother to use my brain anymore- (There's nothing left in it!)"

By the end of the song, the TV is broken! I hate it when that happens! The last time my TV was broken (turns out it wasn't but something was wrong with the on/off button) I almost DIED.

Why Women and Gay Men Don't Particularly Like Comics

2007-05-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

I was never too into comic books. They were kind of fun to read but let's face it- their target audience is male. Oftentimes things geared toward males have very offensive elements to them. I've heard a lot of people argue, for example, that lots of women love sports but there is no denying that while there are sports fanatics among women all the sports programming is targeted at straight men. This is why you will see sexist beer commercials between plays and why there are scantily clad cheerleaders bouncing all over the sidelines.

Similarly, superhero comics may have won the hearts of some women but they will always offer a decidedly male point-of-view. And because men are visual creatures, the view is of half-naked women with huge bazambas.

This is so annoying! The argument that it goes both ways is bogus. The muscular superheroes like Superman were not created to set women's hearts aflutter, though some live action versions of the iconic hero have done just that; they were actually created to showcase the epitome of manhood from a man's viewpoint: the guy who had little to fear because he could fight anyone and also whisk off any babe in a single bound. The men with the rippling Mr. Universe muscles were exactly what men longed to be, including Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, co-creators of the Man of Steel. Most women I know (including me) do not like such exaggerated musculature though of course washboard abs and nicely defined biceps are welcomed.

(EXHIBIT A)

Unfortunately, straight men not only like their super men super large, they also want their women to be tiny-waisted but large-breasted. Worse, they have absolutely no clue when it comes to fashion! A woman with a perfect body is okay to grace the pages of comics but for Pete's sake don't dress her in garish glorified Hooters uniforms! These poor gals, be they mere mortals like Superman's wife Lois Lane or super-human like the She-Hulk are often forced to parade around like cheap hookers or in "what was she thinking?" ensembles that make the fashion police in all of us cringe. To borrow from a gay fashion expert, their outfits look like "the lampshade at a whorehouse" or "the dress Pia Zadora wore to the 1988 Bob Hope Christmas Special." (EXHIBITS B & C)

Part of the problem is that "casual fashion" is hard to keep up with and the men who couldn't care less about that (i.e. comic book artists) will often depict a serious journalist like Lois Lane in tight blue jeans, a white crop top, a blue denim jacket and red boots (egads!) when she ought to be wearing slacks or a dress suit. Even if she was on her downtime she should have worn something fashionable or at least not trampy. At least during the Golden Age of comics, everyone was elegant and there was no need to worry about fashion felonies.

As for the fighting women who can take out Lois in one flick of their fingers, they go beyond the usual painted-on garb that even the men wear (to highlight their bulging muscles) and are forced to fight in bathing suits or tops with large holes cut out in the middle for maximum cleavage exposure. It's not only degrading it seems downright impractical! It seems to me they can wear similar skintight outfits like the men (Batman, Superman and Spider-Man come to mind) but like the men be covered from neck to to toe. Instead, the women often have on bustiers or bathing suit bottoms or tiny skirts (Supergirl looks like a cheerleader herself).

The whole thing reminds me of the way the differences between straight men's tastes in women's fashions and looks and women's (and gay men's) tastes are so great they constantly have to bring it up on "America's Next Top Model". Tyra has done both- the high fashion catered to women and gay men and the bootylicious sexpot stuff for the "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue". In fact, this season they had a photo shoot to illustrate the difference.

EXHIBIT D: MEN's MAGAZINE VS. WOMEN'S MAGAZINE

Another example is Pamela Anderson. She is a beloved icon of men's desire with her dyed-blond hair, pouty lips and horrible clothes designed to showcase her ginormous boobs. Her look is very reminiscent of a comic book woman: pure exaggeration and no subtlety. Sigh.

(EXHIBIT DOUBLE-DD's)

This situation will only change when people take a little more care to pay attention to the details. I'm pretty sure there's got to be female artists or storyboard editors who can say, "Wait a minute. I know we want to give the guys what they love but should Lois really be wearing such a skanky dress to the Daily Planet?" I mean, c'mon!!!

Too Much?

2007-05-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Ok guys. Here it is. You didn't ask for it but I'm giving it to you anyway. The list of the freaking wedding songs WITH links to videos. Picture the ceremony in your heads as I do.

"Trumpet Voluntary" (flowergirl, twin ringbeaerers)

"All the Man that I Need" (groomsmen)

"I've Had the Time of My Life" (bridal party)

"Glory of Love" (groom)

"Here Comes the Bride" (guess who?)

"Tender Love" (unity candle ceremony)

"Can You Read My Mind (Superman Love Theme)" (ring ceremony) (press play)

"Main Theme/March from Superman the Movie" (exit bridal party)

This last video isn't part of the wedding but you see, I was named for Wendy from Peter Pan. So long before I started waiting for my Superman, I was waiting for my Peter Pan. Here he is in all his flying glory, my first love:

More on Wedding Songs

2007-05-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

My last post about songs I want to play at my wedding included all popular music. It doesn't really adequetely reflect my taste as I love a lot of unknown underground or indie music. But I don't think that's too appropriate for weddings as most people will just hear this music and be puzzled, unable to participate in the romance. But if they hear "I've had the time of my life" they'll nod in approval.

RV3 mistakenly thinks that song is not a romantic or appropriate wedding song because he thinks it's about the past tense. But I think he's confused- it's not "I had the time of my life" as in, "I'm through with you baby- your money's on the dresser", it's "I've had the time of my life" (these past few weeks since we met) so it's a "let's keep this thing going...forever...type of song.

I forgot that I wanted "Cherish" by Kool & the Gang as well as "Always" by Atlantic Star.

If I do include unknown music, I'd use JRalph's "One Million Miles Away". It's an all-time favorite.

Every Little Girl's Dream (generally speaking)

2007-05-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Apparently on "Access Hollywood", they're making it possible for regular schlubs like me to date Apolo Anton Ohno. You can email them saying why YOU would be perfect for the Olympian. Egads! I'm almost tempted to write...except, well, you know....he's much too young. I was, however, impressed when for "TURN OFFS" he said the thing he DOESN'T want to hear is, "My place or yours?" because "he's not into that". YAY! A man who doesn't want sex. Love it.

Anywho....

I finally broke down and bought (on Amazon) the following CDs simply because they each contain just ONE SONG I want and the reason I want said songs is for my wedding (don't laugh):

"25 Wedding Classics" because I want the Trumpet Voluntary (Prince of Denmark's March)

"Solitaire" by Peter Cetera because I want "The Glory of Love" (love theme for Karate Kid). I love the lyrics to that song:

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the heroe you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
that we
did it all for the glory of love
....like a knight in shining armor
from a long time ago
just in time I'm to save the day
take you to my castle far away...

Okay so it's the cheesiest thing ever but SO WHAT.

Next:

"Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits" because I want "All the Man I Need" as in:
He lifts me up
He gives me love
More love than I've ever seen
He's all I want
He's all I got in this world
And he's all the man I need

God, I hope that song wasn't written with Bobby Brown in mind...but then I'm not sure she writes any of her songs.

I also ordered "Dirty Dancing Motion Picture Soundtrack" because--you gussed it--I want "I've Had the Time of my Life". (No, I've never felt this way before. Yes I swear. It's the truth. And I owe it all to you.)

Finally, I ordered the Force MD's greatest hits for the R & B classic, "Tender Love". It was the only CD that didn't have snipets of song I could listen to but oh well. I know it's darn good!

So now you know which songs will play at my wedding. I've ruined the surprise! Well, not really. I have some songs already so I didn't need to order them and I therefore didn't need to disclose them here. You're all invited, by the way! Just help me find a groom!

Judas and his so-called Gospel

2007-05-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

I think it's pretty disgusting the way certain supposed scholars like to publish articles in order to mislead the masses (knowingly) about the Bible.

One misleading element that was plastered all over magazines of recent times was the hooplah over the so-called Gospel of Judas.

This gospel is no gospel at all but a manuscript written for gnostics by gnostics veiled with Christian themes at a time when Christianity first became a popular religion.The gnostics and their mystery religion had been around long before then but they incorporated Christian nomenclature in order to make their teachings popular.

In other words, even though this gospel is "genuine" in the sense that it is not some hoax perpetrated by moderns and it is actually carbon-dated to about 180 AD, it is not a genuine account of the time Jesus walked among us.

The other 4 (familiar, cannonized) gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John found in Bibles are meant to be taken as eye-witness accounts of the life and times of the man named Jesus. Whether these men were all mistaken in believing he, Jesus, was actually the Messiah or God is not in dispute here, just that they BELIEVED it and KNEW him.

When we're long gone and future generations sift through our remnants they will find "genuine" accounts of, say, the presidency of George W. Bush, some favoring what he did and some totally indicting him. Any books written about Bush at this time will be tested and found "genuine" but they won't necessarily be genuine ACCOUNTS of what trully happened. Or if that's not a good example because he has gotten such wide coverage, how about a lesser-known person? How about yourself? If you don't have a personal diary, people may turn to letters from old boyfriends or other accounts of your life which may prove to not be "genuine" at all, depending on who provided the information and why. Jesus had a lot of enemies and anyone could have written anything about him.

But even that's beside the point. The gnostics themselves, who read this "gospel" at the time, took it for what it was: myth. These guys had themselves a mystery religion based on Neo-Platonistic philosophy and dualistic theology. What mattered to them was the philosophy behind an "account" or story/myth, not that it was historically accurate. They had mythical accounts of Dyonisis and no one in their right mind believed this to be an actual person.

While Jesus was a historical person, he was used in their accounts to illustrate their philosophy. In the Gospel of Judas, he was the guru to Judas's attentive disciple and spoke to him of teachings not found anywhere else in Christianity.

What is fraudulent about the authors of books and articles is that they present the Gospel of Judas as another POSSIBLE account or just as valuable to Christianity as the traditional 4 gospels. That's totally bogus, people.

As I said the gnostics themselves didn't see it that way! And neither did any of the other "heretical" groups already around in early church history. They all, along with church fathers, saw only the 4 as the true eyewitness accounts with valid apostolic authority.

My point, as I said, is not to dispute the validity of the TEACHINGS of the gospels but just to point out that you shouldn't parade around some old "genuine" manuscript as an account of the times of Jeusus Christ that you KNOW wasn't even taken as such by its writers and adherents of its day.

The Gospel of Judas might be of value to historians of religion and maybe even to followers of mystery religions, New Age or gnostic philosophies but not to anyone who wants to know about Jesus the man and what he taught.

There are many other evidences to this but I won't get into them unless you ask because, frankly, you people don't read these posts and lose interest halfway anyway. **But I will say Judas hung himself right after the arrest of Jesus and didn't have time to write this conversation that supposedly took place at that time, no Christian would have circulated it because he was known as the traitor, and also his and all the other gnostic "gospels" were written in AD 150 or later and by this time the NT had been heavily quoted, meaning the 4 traditional gospels were actually written at the time they were supposed to have been written down by people who were actually "there".

calming

2007-05-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

I just went out to the backyard and it was so nice...there's a cool breeze blowing to sort of ease the burn of the hot sun; the bees are buzzing and drinking deep of the nectar from the peach tree; the church bells are ringing to remind us that it is One O'Clock. I love serene momensts like these though it's actually rare that I should go out to the backyard! I'm not a big nature-lover. I mean, I just LOVE to look at scenes of lakes or majestic ice-capped mountains or beautiful meadows or even corn fields but I'm not one to go stand out there and "be in it". The most I will tolerate is going out the beach because I love the ocean, the waves, the sand, the salty smell....other than that, forget it.

As for the bees, it's comforting to me that even though scientists and naturalists are wondering where all the bees have gone and are concerned, I know there's tons of them in my own backyard!

Last Night's Model

2007-05-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

Here I go again, posting before you guys get a chance to respond. (Well, 2 of you did- thanks!)

But I just HAVE to write about last night's Model! It was crrrrrrazy funny!

First, Natasha, the silly, oblivious Russian import had a HORRIBLE photo shoot, even worse than her first (when she didn't know how to model yet and was stiff) because she was "sick". Well, lots of models have been sick before and delivered terrific shoots. One of my favorites, Joanie, felt ill when she posed like a mermaid in Thailand because she was hanging from the ceiling and was nauseated. Also, Carrie Dee suffered hypothermia in a swimming pool last year and she looked wonderful. If only we could all look hot while we felt like crap. (Or even when we feel good!)

Well, even though Nata did so poorly and for such a lame reason (she just had a cold or something while past sickies have had serious problems), she still always knows how to sell it at judging. You see, the judges asked the other 3 girls to name the best and worst among them and all 3 of them said Nata was the worst. The judges commented that they found this terribly puzzling as Nata is always warm and funny and even though they know they don't live in the house with the models and there could be something fishy going on they don't know about, it didn't make sense for the models to hate her so much. Unless...

They put her in the bottom 2 and deservedly so as she sucked bad in the photo shoot. But the other bottom dweller was Brown/Hoolahay/I-forget-her-real-name contestant who seems to have a problem not scowling in photographs or keeping up glamourous appearances in person, constantly reverting to "mall" looks. So as tension built, Tyra banks said, "Two beautiful girls stand before me but I am only holding one picture in my hands..." and did her usual spiel about why they might get eliminated. Brown was told she coudn't pose without help and always looked mean.

To Nata she said, "The judges wonder why all the girls don't like you when you have been so warm and funny here with us. Could there be something to their comments?" and she waited a moment. She then pulled out the photo...of Nata.

"We think they're just jealous."

Oooooohhhhh! You should have SEEN Jaslene's and Rene's faces. Color them READ. (Not red, READ: As in Tyra, Twiggy, Nigel and Miss Jay just READ YOU, hoochies!)

So let's see how much farther Natasha goes with her stupid delusions that she's done a great job even when she's been horrible. (I didn't get into her aboriginal "dance")

By the way, her priceless response to all the catty backstabbing? She said, "If it were [Victoria's Secret] Giselle Bunchen standing behind me I'd say she was the worst too because she'd be my biggest competition. And it's better to be talked about than to be unnoticed." Yeah, grrrl!

New Rants

2007-05-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I removed some recent posts. I'll put them back when you deign to post comments on these few!

I'm really disgusted (more than ever!) by Paris Hilton and her lack of maturity. We have raised a generation of useless self-absorbed brats and I just wish her dad would call her up and tell what a rude, thougthless little pig she is! I mean, someone close to me had to serve FOUR MONTHS in jail for doing what Paris did! (This person had a DUI then drove on the suspended license and got busted. Big time.)

The fires have my allergies in an uproar but I sure am grateful that they are not affecting my home. I drove really close to one yesterday when I had to pick up my sister-in-law out in the boonies and bring her back here (for a baptism class). I took a wrong exit and ended up on a road that would eventually (12 miles later) turn into the street I needed to be on but it was a winding mountain road with a fire raging to my right. I saw fire trucks and helicopters close by but I was never that close or in danger.

I am very saddened by the Kansas tornado tragedies. I have a soft spot in my heart for Kansas, the home town of Superman.

So Billy Ray Cyrus got booted off Dancing with the Stars last night. That was expected: what was NOT expected was that in the bottom 2 they had Joey Fatone (former boybander) and not Ian Zeiring (formerly of 90210). Ian has been flat and stiff throughout but Joey has produced many 10's, even a perfect 30 TWICE. I am not rooting for him- he's Apolo's biggest (male) competition. But fair is fair! What's more is that both RV3 and I have speculated that Ian's partner, the winner of the last 2 competitions, is garnering a lot of votes somehow. While I'm not of the opinion that there's outright cheating going on, it is a little worrisome that this woman is going to win the competion for Ian, who is the real "contestant", while Joey Fatone, Laila Ali, and Apolo Anton Ohno might get unfairly bumped off.

I'm not sure WHY anyone would be a fan of Cheryl Burke's as opposed to any one of the other female professional dance partners like Karina Smirnoff or Apolo's partner Julienne Hoff. She's the least attractive, for one thing. And she's not necessarily the best dancer and Julienne is a better coreographer, the best of the competition. (Laila's partner is the worst. Sorry RV3!) So now we're actually in fear for Apolo's future in the competition. No one really watches speed skating and the winter Olympics is not as popular as the summer games. And though RV3 said, "But who watches women's boxing?" I had to remind him that Laila Ali is not just a women's boxing champion (undefeated), she is the daughter of the most recognizable name in sports worldwide: Muhammed Ali. She's a good dancer too, and will also likely get the African American vote. But Apolo is the best male dancer with the best female partner/coreographer. Still, he might not get a chance to go head-to-head with Ali or even the best contender, Fatone. He might either be booted off too early or go against Ian Ziering in the finals! Preposterous!

Give me that old time religion!

2007-05-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

I am watching the Military Channel for its special "Nazis: the Occult Conspiracy". The crazy thing is there have been numerous anti-New Age books written in an Evangelical Christian view-point and they all go into the scary links between occult/New Age philosophy and anti-Semitism. But that could have been seen as sensationalist and biased, yet here it is on the Military Channel (and originally the History Channel)! I was oblivious to these links when I was a New Ager myself and I am SURE there are hundreds of innocent and sincere seekers who are in no way anti-Semitic or may even be Jewish! But the point is the hideous lineage is there.

What happened in Germany is that certain crazy occultists actually got into power and indoctrinated the whole nation into its sick philosophy. Once everything was in place and underway according to plan and according to this new religion of Aryan superiority and purity, young women were taught that they must breed young and their bodies belonged to the nation. Nazi soldiers practiced polygamy so that they might breed pure white babies expediently.

Not that I want to get into all that. We all know what happened over there. But the details about the whole philosphy and religion behind it is not as well known. Christianity was quickly replaced by this new religion. The occultists like Hess and Heimlich felt that the myth of Atlantis was actually quite true and that the high priests who escaped the devastation of the flood found refuge in the high mountains of Tibet and that these Tibetans were related to the Aryans. They were convinced these Aryan supermen or demigods could become the future and could be revived simply by breeding purely and eliminating the impure.

So far everything I've mentioned is from the special. But I'm going to share insights from the Christian books.

The Christian authors analyzing the occult and New Age explosion were worried about its anti-semitic and racist roots. Even though most New Age philosophy comes directly from the East and its mystic religions, it has been passed down from other unfortunate sources. One is the writings of a woman who founded the theosophist movement. She didn't hide her views about the Jews needing to be purified and thus having a karmic debt to pay, which explained their horrible fate during the holocaust. The theosophists and other occultists have disguised their religion as "tolerant" but have made it clear that they believe the whole human race must EVOLVE spiritually and the only way is to embrace this New Age worldview and that those who refuse to accept its "truth" (staunch Christians, Jews and Moslems) must be eradicated. Unlike the Nazi "Final Solution", however, which was hideous to say the least, the New Agist way of getting rid of those of us who refuse to evolve (and thus endanger the evolution of the whole human race) is that we must be "banished" to another dimension. Needless to say I have no fears about that actually taking place, but it is still a little disconcerting that this is their belief.

I don't believe in theocracy or having one started in the U.S. Even though some believe that's what Bush is trying to do (and I can't say for sure he isn't), and are threatened by it, I think that the opposite can just as easily take place. I mean, there are numerous people who have espoused on the virtues of a society rid of religion. One such person is the writer of those "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books, as well as John Lennon and now Elton John. Maybe some of their arguments are legitimate as far as how they have felt threatened or targeted because of religion. But to target and threaten believers should be considered just as bad.

Himmler and other Nazis were very moved by Hinduism, which is the cornerstone religion behind New Age beliefs. Although "New Age" is an umbrella term and some writers often contradict each other, their basic teachings are the same, especially the "One-ness" of everything, such as is taught by Hinduism and Buddhism and Taosim. Another is astrology and other furtune-telling devices and a big one is reincarnation, along with karma and spiritual evolution.

But just because the Nazis believed in these things does not automatically negate them. I just find it disturbing that when Hinduism was brought to the West, it was touted as deep truth to replace the old Christian views. But how can it be explained that Hinduism has never worked for India? There was not even any charity in India until Christianity went East because charity was an interference with karmic debt. There was devotion to gurus that here in the freedom-loving West would be seen as cultist (giving yourself completely to a person, even in thought as it is believed they can read minds or control minds).

The occult did not work (thank God!) for the Nazis either. What is weird is the link one Christian writer made between the Biblical account of the flood in Noah's time (which mentions a wicked people but also nearly superhuman, heroic talents) and the people who are revered by occultists/New Agers: the Atlanteans. After all, both peoples were eradicated by a flood. But while occultists think of Atlantis as a place of super-evolved demigods and something to strive for as far as spiritual evolution, the Bible account clearly condems whoever these individuals were. There is also a link between the symbols for Atlantis and a Norse symbol used by Nazis and of course between the Eastern swatsika, which represented good fortune as well as the seasons, and the horrible symbol of hate which sends shudders through anyone opposed to this sick and twisted philosophy of evil.

I find the whole thing incredibly interesting. It remains to be seen whether those who supposedy value "tolerance" will gain an increased power and suddenly obliterate the old faith that threatens them by instituting an acceptable form of INtolerance. Church and state really don't mix, as evidenced by the Roman Empire's embrace of "Christianity" which created the Roman Catholic Church and for many centuries oblitirated all traces of the pure Biblical Christianity begun by Jesus and his apostles. The marriage of church and state also spawned the Nazi warhead, though then the church was that of an occult mix of Hinduism, old Norse mythology and astrology/divination combined to give birth to a blood religion of Aryan superiority.

So no, I don't want a theocracy, even one that supposedly would favor Christianity (I don't consider Bush a real Christian) and I certainly hope the New Agers and others don't get their way! In this Christians and Jews should unite lest we be the latest victims of power-hungry "spiritual" leaders who claim to know what is best for the entire nation or human race.

Don't Just Stand There, Get to It!

2007-04-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm over-writing here but I think I've been wanting to make up for all those months when I didn't write a thing. Unfortunately, I'm putting out material faster than you, my readers, can keep up. So please pencil me into your hectic schedules and take the time to read and post comments on my last, say, five or six blog posts. Okay...off you go!

Rants, Raves, Musings, Epiphanies and Observations

2007-04-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

I am watching the memorial service for that Blue Angel who died in a plane crash last week (Lt. Cmdr. Kevin Davis) and what I find really cool is that in lieu of flowers the Navy has asked that people make donations to the Make-A-Wish Foundation in his name. I remember the absolute millions of flowers that were left for Princess Diana upon her untimely and tragic demise and I just KNOW that she would have preferred a donation be made in HER name to some worthy cause as well.
Speaking of British charity campaigners, Heather Mills (referred to as Yoko Uno by those insensitive jerks at The Soup) has been booted off Dancing with the Stars. I voted for her more than once and I am sad to see her go. Even though Billy Ray Cyrus is very charming and handsome and has good chemistry with Karina Smirnoff (let me state that I am tempted to believe she sleeps with all her partners!), he is NOT a dancer and I think Heather did a much better job, missing leg and all.
***
It seems Rosie O'Donnell has decided to leave "The View". No surprise there. I find her grating though contrary to what you may assume, it has nothing to do with her openly liberal world-view. I just couldn't put my finger on it before but now that she has admitted to being depressed (which is admirable), I realized that she has some sort of mental disorder that makes her volatile. Let me just say that I can't stand Donald Trump and I'm glad she let him have it! Glad I say!
***
In light of several news items involving disgruntled people, I find myself wondering what is up with society and why can't people just accept rejection or getting told "NO" anymore? Must people always resort to shooting those who deny them things like jobs or apartments? It's ridiculous!
***
I can't wait for Top Model tonight and rest assured I will blog about the results. Go Nata!
***
If you're wondering which one qualifies as an epiphany, I must admit my title is deceitful. Sorry.

Restoring the Magdalene Spirit

2007-04-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been having a hard time praying. To me, my relationship with God is just that: a relationship. It's not about rituals or penance or wanting to be "in God's good graces". I want to have a deep and highly involved love affair with God. I want to go to Him as a friend and to come to Him for comfort as His daughter.

But for some reason, I've had the strange notion that I cannot just go to Him. It's partly that I feel every time I do, I just want to ASK for things and I don't think God should be treated like the genie in the magic bottle who grants wishes. I know certain people like to cast spells, "visualize", use "The Secret", light Loteria candles, leave coins at a Buddha statue's feet or wear horseshoes and rabbit's feet. These are all methods human beings have used and continue to use since time immemorial to manipulate the forces of the universe they believe in. I believe in YHWH God, THE LORD ALMIGHTY who does listen to our prayers but who has unlimited wisdom in granting or refusing to grant certain things. I don't think it's right for me to try to manipulate Him.

So I go on...walking alone but knowing I am not. I want to reach up but I tell myself I should not. I'm not sure where I lost it along the way...the ability to walk with my God.

It's not that I forget Him. He is always on my mind. I need to just FOCUS and try to spark it up again: the wonderous love.

Believe it or not, I think technology will actually help me. You see, this blog is being brought to you by my new laptop which I will use (as soon as DSL is installed on 5/14) to cut and paste Bible verses onto new studies I plan to embark on. I'm very much looking forward to the time when I can spend hours reading and learning and being fascinated all over again by this powerful God I fell in love with years ago.

Sick & Tired (but Happy)

2007-04-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I consider myself a healthy person and I feel very blessed in that regard. I mean, how many people can say they don't have to worry about insulin or high blood pressure medication or even chemo. Thank God, right! But for some reason--and I know it's a contradiction--I feel sick all the time.

It's not that I get colds easily. I mean, my immune system is not generally weak. This is different: this is me feeling tired and sick almost every day.

I'm not certain what causes this feeling of malaise but I can tell you what I do know: I got malaria twice as a child and the measles once (third-world country, you know); I got hit by a car when I was seven and had my spleen ruptured when I was 22. I also survived a war and moved to a new country. Oh yeah, I also nearly died from bronchitis twice.

These factors may or may not have contributed to my now having fibromyalgia, which is simply rheumatism of the soft tissue. It started out in junior high when I would get sudden dull but debilitating aches in my limbs. One day it was the right arm, the following week my left leg and so on. Eventually this grew into an all-over body ache like you get when you have the flu. But that wasn't until I was nearly 30.

For years I took Ibuprofen to fight the pain (you know, a 200-mg. Advil tablet when the pain struck) and that (among other things like diet, I'm sure) caused me to get GERD, commonly known as acid reflux disease. I only take Tylenol now, which is not bad for the stomach at all but God only knows how my liver will end up!

Today I am having to take Benadryl or Chlortimetron every four hours for allergy relief. I never had nasal allergies like this growing up. It didn't start until my 26th spring. Then it kept growing out of control until the allergies never went away, even when spring was over. The allergies also produced a new problem: sinusitis. I get infections very often and might need surgery but so far so good.

Finally, I'd like to get a tad personal and admit I suffer from severe hormonal problems. I don't know if it's PMS or worse. But I get hot flashes, cravings, fatigue, tenderness and of course emotional. Whatever it is I can't stand it and hope it goes away soon.

But as I said, I consider myself a healthy individual and I soldier on through these annoying health disturbances and I will get my college education (God willing) even if it's one class at a time and even if I'm 80 when I finish!

By the way, there's a website you can go to if you'd like to calculate how long you might live. You just answer a series of health-related questions and you'll get a number. Mine was 92. Not bad for a decrepit old bag like me! Here it is if you're interested: http://www.livingto100.com/

PET FOOD RECALL

2007-03-17T23:25:00.000-07:00

For those pet lovers out there, I thought you should know there's a large recall going on for pet food. Go to www.menufoods.com/recall for more information. I know IAMS was named, as well as some of Kroeger brands. They said it was only the canned and/or pouch "wet/flaked" foods that were affected but it's being blamed for renal failure in some animals. I can't help but wonder if this had anything to do with the fact that I lost Hermes on July 15, 2006 and Mikey on January 6, 2007 to urinary/kidney problems. Now I'm scared about what I feed Mr. Julie! Those experiences, with the death of my beloved grandmother sandwiched in between, were completely devastating and heart wrenching and I don't wish to have that happen to anyone else!

WHY THE FREAK AM I STILL ALONE?

2007-02-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge anyone in love their chance to get knee-deep in mush and I'm as romantic as the next girl, but come on. This is the absolute WORST day of the year for those of us sans amour. The only bright spot is I happen to be getting my tax return on that day!

Before you shake in disgust and pronounce me a bitter, lonely jerk who can only sit around and gripe about everything, let me just say that I am QUITE CONTENT. I have not been this joyful in a long time. But I can't help but be baffled by my lack of male suitors. After some assessment of the situation, I am happy to report: IT'S NOT ME- IT'S YOU.

Firstly, I am a looker. Okay, okay, I may not be on par with the Scarlet Johansens or Shakiras of the world but I don't mind telling you I still get hoots and whistles when I walk past a construction site, thank you very much!

Secondly (and I started out with looks because, let's face it, you're all shallow!), I am very smart. Maybe not Nobel Prize-smart, but it's not like I'm called upon to solve complex mathematical equations on a daily basis. I was in the Gifted/Talented classes in school and my use of conversational English is superb.

Thirdly, I am kind. I not only have helped little old ladies across the street and fed the homeless but I've taken in stray kitties and have been known to sponsor not only children but endangered species of whales!

I happen to also be quite stylish. I have gotten compliments such as, "What a cute pair of earrings!" and "Wow- that's a pretty sweater!" and "Are those glasses prescription or do you just wear them because they're so unbelievably cute?" and "Where-ever did you get those boots?!" and my all-time favorite: "That's a FASCINATING shirt!" I have also been reminded by a gay best friend that I can pull off plaid pants and a leopard top. How? Bold fashion for a dynamic woman with flair!

On top of all that, I smell great. I mean, I not only BATHE daily, people, but I happen to own numerous bottles of expensive perfume and I'm NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM. If I haven't spritzed on Michael Kors I've dabbed on Marc Jacobs or Calvin Klein or Paul Sebastian or Dolce & Gabana or whatever other gay desiger is out there willing to take my money. The point is I smell as beguiling as a dozen roses, the very bouquet I should be getting for V-Day!

Finally, as if that weren't enough, I have received the following comments on my physical attributes: "Graceful", "foxy", "very pretty smile", "hard, tight stomach muscles" (from a doctor), "cleanest ears ever" (also a doctor), "incredibly soft skin" and much much more.

But don't cry for me yet, Argentina. I have dinner with a gentleman on the 13th so maybe someone FINALLY woke up and smelled the wonder that is moi. There, I said it!

2006-09-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

Per Lucy4's insensitive request, I am posting a new blog. But that doesn't mean I'm over the cat! Actually, the cat didn't have too much to do with it...it's my crazy schedule. I work from 8:30-5:00 and then go to school from 6:00-10:00, Monday thru Friday. Add to that my stupid medical problems like fibromyalgia and chronic sinusitis and you've got one TIRED person. I even had Xanax prescribed to me for stress.

Anyway, I actually had quite a few good blogs planned out but I never had the chance to write them. Plus, I haven't read YOUR blogs, dear friends, either. I feel bad about that.

The other thing that happened was my grandmother died on August 1st. She was the matriarch of our family- a true feminist in the sense of having put her children through school even when she was practically a single mom. She was married but my grandfather was an alcoholic and they separated for fifteen years while he hit rock bottom. During this time she took her father's jewelry business and made it thrive. She sent her oldest son to study engineering in the U.S., her middle son to study medicine (like his father) in Spain and her adopted younger daughter (her birth mom was one of their maids) came here eventually also and is now a VP of Wells Fargo. Meanwhile, my grandmother always remained a lady, steeped in old fashioned values, and taught me above anyone else I know how to love and fear God. I owe her my very salvation.

I hope she'd be proud of me for sticking my neck out not just for myself but because I want to help my own family to rise up from the financial problems we have as a unit. We are all separate entities but becaue I am a single woman, I only have my mom to take care of, not children. (Unless you count Mikey and his new younger brother Julian. Yes, the little kitten that came to the backyard turned out to be a boy AND he never left. I still might take him to the pound but it isn't looking likely.)

I am doing what I can to make something of my life. I don't really enjoy the clerical work that I do and becoming an esthetician (what I'm going to school for) seems to be a perfect place to be around lots of people. I love that and I love what a positive self-image can do for a person. Beauty might be a superficial thing but it shouldn't totally be discounted as such. Plus skin care is not just about beauty. It's about informing people on not just looking great but taking care of themselves.

So far I have learned a lot. The class is fun and the girls are great. For some weird reason a few of them have breast implants. But they're all interesting. One is a nurse, one is a masseusse, one is a divorced mom who has had school paid for by Workman's Comp and there's another one who is an accupuncturist AND diamond dealer.

I'll keep you guys posted but don't count on this being updated TOO often. (Sorry, dear Lucy!)

I Can't Let Go

2006-07-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hermes

March 20(?), 1997 - July 15, 2006

Never was there a more handsome cat in all the earth. You were a little bit fiesty because you had obvious trust issues but you were still my baby, my kitty-kitty....

I got a little kitty and his name is Hermes
I got a little kitty, I love him very much
He's so neat
He's so sweet
He's so neat and I love him very much
Little little kitty
Little little baby
Little little kitty
Little little Hermes

that was your song I used to sing you.

I miss you so much!

You're never gone....I'll make belive...You're never gone

We the Jury....

2006-07-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

It's my lunch break and I'm here reporting for jury duty. There's a library next to the court building and this is where I came to access the web. They have myspace blocked off, though! What fascists! At least at my local library you can go on myspace if you please (and many do).

So I've decided to post a new blog. Mostly, I've been reading in the jury assembly room. I've also had to use the restroom a lot because I drank coffee and a bottle of "Stress Rx" tea (Arizona). In fact, even right now as I type this I know one hour will not go by before I have to use the facilities here at the library again.

I was reading a book about ULs, urban legends, and just finished the chapter about cars. There are a lot of scary stories about cars and weirdos. It's got me freaked out even though I know those stories are not true. I start school next week and will be getting out at 10 pm and will be parked in a mall parking lot. A lot of those urban legends take place in mall parking! One such story has a woman realizing she has a flat and a helpful man offering to help, if only she will drive him back to his car. She goes back into the mall to talk to Security and the officer tells her that the tire has been slashed purposely. The man who would have "helped" her has left behind a briefcase with duct tape, tire iron, etc.

As I said, the story is not true but I know for a FACT that real-life serial killer Ted Bundy used ruses like that to abduct his female victims. He would use a cast on his leg or arm, ask for help with his school books (he looked like a university student) and once the girl is putting his books into his VW bug, Bundy has beat her over the head with a tire iron he has stashed behind one of the tires and she's done for.

In another legend in the book, we have a woman leaving work to find an elderly woman sitting in her backseat. It's cold and raining and the woman explains she's stranded and needs a ride. Feeling sorry for her, the woman goes back inside the office to call her husband so he won't worry about her and is firmly warned not to give rides to strangers. Instead, the husband says, she should alert Security. She does and is told to call police. Police arrive and arrest the elderly "woman", who is really an axe murderer in disguise.

Again, NOT a true story, but word to the wise: If you are a woman, you might feel safer giving a ride to or taking a ride from another woman, but this can be a dangerous proposition. In a totally true story (which I often repeat to women in my life who tend toward trusting women or men with women for rides), a young girl hitches a ride with a man because he has his wife and baby in the car with him. Little does she know that he is a sadist who has been tormenting his wife for so long that she can no longer take the abuse and is helping find a surrogate. The unfortunate hitchhiking co-ed becomes the victim of one of the most horrific crimes I've ever heard. Totally true, you can look it up! The worst part of this girl's ordeal is that he keeps her in a coffin-like box and only takes her out for his perverted wants. She is a sex slave and a prisoner for about seven years before she is set free by the guilt-ridden wife. Look it up, "Girl in the Box"!

One story I think about whenever I get in my car at home is the one about the boyfriend who goes for a can of gas and never returns. His girlfriend hears scratching on the roof all night. When police come to the rescue, she is led out of the car and told, "Don't look back!" but like Lot's wife in the Bible, she does. She doesn't become a pillar of salt, however, instead she becomes sick when she sees her beau hanging from a tree upside down, his fingernails doing the "scratching". The reason I think of it is that we have a gigantic tree at home and it's numerous branches are becoming so overgrown that there's one that scratches the roof of my car. Ever so-softly and eerily.

Finally, in a "legend" scenario of my own, I once told my best friend about the hot guy who offered me a ride in his red sports car only to learn that she'd encountered a similar (the same?) guy herself. The weird and scary part of it is we were both in junior high at the time. So it's a sinister thing when a cute guy in a "rad" car is actually a pervert who wants to kidnap tweens. Am I right?

Six Down, Six to Go

2006-07-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

The year is half over! It's been pretty quick to go by. I started a new job, had to get new insurance (and consequently a new doctor) and I've pretty much been doing that (working there) on automatic pilot, killing time.

This made me realize I need a career badly. Well, that and the fact that bills piled up and things got very hairy around here. So next week I start school.

It's been an interesting year but I feel that the latter half of the year should (hopefully) be much better. Less worries, more learning, growing...as they said at church, spiritual growth doesn't happen accidentally. So I really have to focus on that A LOT MORE.

I hope the year ends with me doing something creative and productive.

Hermes is still not home and probably won't be until tomorrow. His blood tests showed he still has abnormal kidney activity. Poor little kitty-cat. I miss him!

My Poor Baby!

2006-07-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

Hermes isn't coming home today. He's still hospitalized and needs blood tests but the vet said he took a poop today ("had a bowel movement") but it was "loose". I know that sounds pretty sick but it broke my heart!

I've bonded with the CEO of the company I work for over the whole sick cat thing. She has a 16-year-old cat herself. She asks me how Hermes is every day.

Why I Love Superman

2006-07-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

(This blog is intended originally for MySpace but I'm duplicating it here)

Soaring into theaters this past week, the new incarnation of our bloved hero Superman has begun to make his make his mark both in Hollywood (look out for major gossip!) and our collective cultural consciousness.

Personally, I loved the film. I'm not a die-hard Superman comic book enthusiast like some dedicated people, but I have a very real appreciation for this honest, caring, self-sacrificing superhero.

As for the new man to don the suit, newcomer Brandon "BJ" Routh (rhymes with south), he does a magnificent job. There are comparisons to the late Christopher Reeve, who truly embodied the heroic character in the 70s and 80s, but Brandon Routh gives Superman a new quality of emotion that I found riveting.

I've been accused of just having a girlie crush on the boy, which is justified by his breathtaking beauty, but I must protest! I want to see the movie again and again because it's good and because I love this character. When I saw "Superman II" as a child, I fell in love with Christopher Reeve and thought he was the greatest guy I'd ever seen in all my eight years! And even more telling (but more bizarre and embarassing), I had a sort of crush on Mighty Mouse. The point is, I love the superhero ideal, especially Superman's character. And Brandon Routh's portrayal has given me more to love.

Nothing against young Mr. Routh, but by himsel, as himself, I would not have a crush on him. He's a fine actor and a decent Midwestern guy (according to the press, he's down-to-earth and sweet, a real Clark Kent) and golly is he C U T E! But still, my awe is for the man in tights. I'm not saying if this young talentented actor has a new movie out I won't go, because I am in fact rooting for his success.

By the way, I'm not sure why anyone would WANT fame. Already, the Net has a zillion pieces about him, including that he is gay and was cast as Superman by the film's gay director because of a previous love tryst between them. The truth is, Brandon is very happily dating an actress he met while still an unknown and he was cast as Superman because he is perfect for the part. Right now he's the latest Hollywood hunk on the scene and there are websites boasting of "shirtless" photos or even nude ones (superimposed pictures of his face on someone's body, I'm sure). I didn't see those as I'm a Christian and I don't think he ever posed nude but if he did, I'm not judging as God only knows there's a lot of us who've regretfully posed in the altogether, so what can one say?

But don't dismiss him as a pin-up. He's actually quite truly a Superman!

Temptation is a Witch or a Spirited Past (Bah!)

2006-06-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

RV3 was surprised to learn that I was recently studying eastern mysticism but I reminded him that I have personal experience with some of the occult arts. Ever since I was very young I was fascinated with anything and everything that involved using the sixth sense or delving into realms not seen by the naked eye and not tested by empirical means.

When Time-Life came out with the "Mysteries of the Occult" series, I remember longing to read about everything like the "third eye" and the secrets of the pyramids.

This is why I became involved in the New Age movement: it encompassed all that "secret knowledge" and promised to bring me to a closer understanding of God and the purpose of life.

Needless to say the movement failed to deliver on those promises ans I eventually abandoned meditation and other such practices in favor of a search for a church where I could worship. I made a list of denominations and researched them but when I set my mind to investigate each one by attending, God instead sent me a disciple to share their faith with me and bring me to the church I still attend, which is non-denominational and follows the Bible by modeling itself after the first century (and authentic) church.

But before ever getting to that point I was first rejecting my birth-faith of Catholicism and venturing further and further into New Age beliefs which did not match my previous religion at all. I had been indoctrinated into the whole "Jesus is God" and "heaven upon death" basics but everything in between was fuzzy. Mainly it has to do with the Catholics' lack of usage of the Bible by the congregation (study is left to clergy) and by my own rejection of most of its doctrine.

A boy I knew got me into astrology and before long I was into reincarnation and a whole new worldview regarding where I'd come from and where I was going. It had its good points, I suppose, but it left me confused and ever searching.

I remember reading books in my high school's occult section (!!) and being both terrified and fascinated by historical accounts of witchcraft. One book, which was neither advocating nor disparaging the practice, happened to include as an example a spell that a maiden could try in order to find out who her future husband would be but I was too chicken to try it.

One of the books I am studying now on mysticism (from a Christian perspective) is written by a man who went from spiritist to Christian but that conversion is to me unremarkable compared to his conversion from Jew to Christian!

Which brings me to a perplexing question: why are people like Jewish convert Whoopie Goldberg so offended by the Jews for Jesus movement? She herself, being a convert to a religion other than what she was raised as, should not criticize someone's decision to expand or turn back from their birth faith. Actually, all the converts of Jesus during his lifetime were fellow Jews (save for a few Roman soldiers and a couple of non Jewish women). They were waiting for their Messiah, after all, and he convinced them at the time of his being the fulfillment of their scriptures. Nowadays it's harder for a Jew to convert but when they do people should not subject them to persecution and hate. Whoopie seems to think it is ridiculous for a Jew to be "for Jesus" as if Jesus was somehow a nasty character. True, some ignorant and evil people have persecuted (and worse) Jews in the name of Jesus but Jesus himself would have never advocated the hatred of his own people.

Anyway, the man's experience with spiritism (the practice of necromancy or speaking with the dead) was of course negative. I say of course because what can you expect in a Christian book? But before you think everything like this is biased, I myself know several people with very similar negative experiences and I remember these helped me to be put off by spiritism even at the time in which I was practicing "New Age" mysticism.

They usually go like this: the person starts dabbling in the occult, especially necromancy, and is then visited more and more by unwanted spirit aparitions until desperation sets in and this often leads to suicide attempts. I know one girl who drowned at 16 after years of these practices and it is believed it was suicide. Another girl I know proceded to scare the living daylights out of me by telling me one day at my house that she was possessed by an evil spirit she encountered on the Ouija board and that she often chased her brother with knives! Yet another practitioner was found jibbering nonsense outside her house by her family. She had just had a horrific afternoon of poltergeist activity she still won't describe in detail after a long time of dabbling with the Ouija board.

The thing is that with the Christian perspective, it is easy to see where demonic activity comes into play. Demons are able to impersonate the spirit of the dearly departed and so deceive the bereaved into thinking there's contact with a loved one (a la "Ghost"). Their purpose is to get people to not worry so much about the after life. Everyone is always in heaven or in a great place and at peace and "watching over us". Meanwhile, the real spirit of the departed might actually be awaiting judgment and hell.

Of course, other religions WELCOME apiritions because they have a completely different view of the afterlife and to them spirits are actually either departed "Masters" or "Avatars" who have moved on to a higher plane of existence and can impart wisdom on us or maybe they are even gods. But demons impersonate not only the dead (loved ones) but also such beings of light as "highly evolved" avatars as well as angels (and in some cases aliens from outer space).

I didn't mean to delve into that topic as I'm sure there are different opinions out there about that. I actually just wanted to say that it is curious that in human nature we tend to want to have control over everything. We want to achieve either power, wealth or love and whether we employ a pantheon of "gods" or meditate intently or use spells or invocations (or even in some cases, prayer) we still want that control. That's why people are attracted to such practices and even "secular" ones like human potential or humanistic psychology and "self-help". I even know people who are usually staunch rationalists and materialists who will go for horoscopes because we want in this insecure world to have no surprises. That's why they'll do astrological forecasting, Tarot cards or psychic readings.

I am still tempted by all this as I too feel insecure. But by faith in God I subvert control to Him and have faith in His will for my life.

New Arrival

2006-06-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

I've been getting bad headaches lately. I was assuming they were sinus headaches but now I wonder if I'm dehydrated. I don't drink as much water as I should but I can't be going to the bathroom every five minutes at work! (And that's the unfortunate side effect of water.)

There's a newborn kitten mewling outside again. This time last year was when Mikey turned up. It's like a halfway house for cats here! And before it's assumed that Mikey is the father, Mikey actually is too young and also, when he finally matured sexually, he kept getting rejected for the far more strapping (but neutered) Hermes. So I really don't think this cat is his son/daughter. Actually, I know he needs to be neutered but I don't feel guilty about this turn of events because of my above reasoning. I am more preplexed than anything else because as I said, Mikey turned up here last year and he's definitely not Hermes' son so what is it about this place that attracts moms and their newborn kitties?

Anyway, it's needless to say I won't be keeping this one but if I did (it's a yellow and white tabby) I'd name her Sarah Michelle or Sugar. If he's a boy I don't even want him! I want a girl! If it's a boy I'll give him away for sure.

Hey Karma Girl, What's My Sign?

2006-06-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

So here we are again, friends. I am about to get under some skins. Maybe not...I just want to share some personal experiences.

Before my conversion to Christianity I was into New Age. I didn't even know what to call myself and of course, most New Agers have a deep dislike for "organized religion" which is why you don't label yourself anything, least of all something lame like "New Ager". But I can't think of what else to call it.

Anyway, my beef now is that even though I can see where people are coming from (though they are mistaken) when they complain about the Bible being ancient and irrelevant, a lot of the same people happily gab for hours about their astrological sign and who they should be with romantically and why that Leo friend of theirs is such a drama queen ("Leo with Leo rising!") and it drives me nuts! Science has disproven astrology and yet they want to come at me with, "It's not plausible for Jonah to have lived inside a big fish for three days" or "No one can raise from the dead" or "What Great Flood?" and on and on and on even as they study their horoscopes dilligently.

And as I've said before on this blog, my intent isn't to have everyone be like me or whatever, but I do want to expose those double standards. I also don't like the way New Age stuff is easily disguised as something secular and so it can get away with things Christianity could never get away with. Like those "good karma" tip jars. If I had a tip jar with "Don't go to hell- Give a Dollar" my place would be protested against. I know good karma seems less threatening than advisories against eternal damnation but that isn't the point- it's still pushing a religious belief onto whoever is there. (It seems harmless, of course, but the thing is it's TELLING you to put in a dollar or you'll have bad karma and so it is inducing people to do something for their karma, which automatically puts them in the same spot as those who might suddenly be pushed to "praise God" with the Pledge of Alligience or school prayer, not that I am saying either of those two things should be mandatory.)

Also, Christians in the limelight are put down for putting their beliefs out there but people like Oprah Winfrey constantly tell people what to think, eat and read and they love her for it. She claims to "live in the space where God lives" and of course some might agree with her or share similar beliefs but that isn't considered the same as a Christian who might go on TV and talk about how much Jesus means to them. That's considered annoying and offensive. I know some would say that Oprah doesn't push anything on anyone but it's obvious how she feels and that she would look down her nose at someone who isn't as "enlightened" as she is. (She promotes people on her show like John Grey, whose books explicitly state that he hopes we are entering an new age where religion is done away with. ) But if I mention that according to my beliefs, someone isn't saved, that is of course horrible. Even if I go about it in the same gentle way.

Finally, another heroine of people who would obviously be at odds with Christians is Madonna. But like Oprah, she has never made any bones about stating exactly where she stands on issues, including religion. She will offend to the point of being excommunicated from her church and now that she has found something she truly finds extraordinary, she is constantly talking about it and promoting it (kabalah, for those who don't know and PS- I was into it when Madonna was still prancing around in cone bras and not yet stealing the name Esther, a TRULY great woman of God). But Christians and maybe people with "laughable" beliefs (like Tom Cruise) are thought of as idiots for doing the exact same thing.

I just think it's very unfair. People never want to admit that they feel exactly the same way as those they can't stand, only in reverse. At least I admit that I am a Christian and that while I would not disparage someone's faith, I will never say I agree with any of them or that it's okay to believe what they believe because that would go against my own beliefs and that's just silly.

**As for the title of tonight's blog, it came from my own experience as an astrology buff while I was in high school. My, how times have changed!

Catching Up on the Story of Metal

2006-05-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm so mad! Yesterday I didn't feel like watching TV so I left it on TBS or something and came to the computer but like an idiot I missed the first episode of the documentary "HEAVY: The Story of Metal" on VH1 which has decreed May 2006 "Metal Month".

Well I just found this out this afternoon. There are new episodes set to debut all through the week but when will they repeat the one I missed? Hopefully over the weekend.

Anyway, today they are covering the new wave of British metal and how critics and punk music threatened the genre. Over in England, metal was overlooked by punk fans. But it was still an underground sensation, thanks to a little band called Judas Priest.

(I assume episode one spoke a great deal about metal founders Black Sabbath, those hardcore working men from Birmingham who gave us "Iron Man", the greatest metal song of all time.)

The ironic thing about Judas Priest is that they really gave metal its "macho" image when they ditched their flamboyant Led Zeppelin-inspired clothing (you know the type- every hard rock act of the 70s wore those satin blouses and such) and went all leather all the time. Soon, not just the band was wearing leather chaps, vests and cuffs with studs but so were their fans and all metalheads everywhre. Thing of it is, the look came right out of the pages of singer Rob Halford's homosexuality. No one knew it at the time, but metal's biggest "god" was actually a gay man. It's ironic, as I said, because not only did this hilariously gay look become the chosen uniform for this dark, hard and insanely macho music, but most metalheads are homophobic.
Still, don't underestimate metal's fans. Even though Judas Priest (and this is going beyond tonight's documentary and into the late 90s) kicked out the singer because of his sex life and hired Judas Priest cover band singer....er...I forget his freaking name but the movie "Rock Star" starring Marky Mark and Jennifer Aniston was based on this story....eventually Judas Priest rehired Halford because they realized their fans and fans of all metal did not disdain nor disown Harlford for his homosexuality. After he very publicly came out at a gay pride parade, he was still considered one of the best, most hardcore, most macho and fierce metal frontmen of all time. (Later on we all looked back and said, "duh" because he looked just like Tom of Finland and was "Hellbent For Leather")

What's Happening...

2006-05-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

Ironies and other minor annoyances of life:

I had to get a high-interest-rate loan to fix a car I bought off someone because I figured a used as-is car was the only thing I could afford since cars from a dealership require payments of like $300 a month but now I'm paying $300 for my loans AND it turns out my credit rating is above-average and I didn't know it. (So I could have financed a vehicle OR gotten a much better loan- either way, it'd be better than this)

I didn't buy an MP3 player with my tax return because I figured it was too much money but I've spent more than that already on things that have dissappeared without a trace.

Anyway, today is a new day. I won't allow myself to get super bogged down with worries, especially of the financial variety. God has provided for me and I am sure I can count on Him to continue doing so.

I can't believe I'm sitting here writing about nothing when I should be reading one of the hundreds of books I own but have yet to read. I should either do that or listen to music since I am so willing to shell out hard-earned cash for CDs.

Speaking of working hard, I had a great day today just because the other admin assistant wasn't there. She treats me like a redheaded stepchild and I can't stand it. It makes the work environment tense when it should be a breeze.

Scared to Death

2006-05-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

I'm a little scared because I just purchased some CDs at Amazon.com. Now, I've done that several times- bought books and CDs from them- but now you can use your checking account number in lieu of a credit card (for people like me who don't have one). Unfortunately, even though I now have 2 bank accounts and I got the second account solely for the reason that the bank I've used for 4 years now never gave me a debit/check card with a Visa or MasterCard logo and I wanted one, I used this new feature because my primary account has more money and I was able to make the purchases I wanted ($57-worth) without worrying about going into the negatives (the second account had $100 but I've been going out to eat lately and using it to pay). What scares me is that I was asked for my DL number and now I'm scared my identity will be stolen! What if it is? Could I survive that? My credit is good right now- above average- but I have some debt I'm currently working on. I'm totally scared of having some freak steal my identity and ruining my life just because I really wanted some cheap used CDs.

What do you guys think? Did I just commit a big blunder?

By the way, in case you're wondering, I bought a CD by Royksopp, one by Lovetron, one by Francine, one by the Waterlillies, and I also bought the Om Lounge Volumes 4 and 10 and the Freestyle Greatest Hits (bring on "One Way Love"!)

PS, Lucy I know I owe you money and don't worry I'm going to mail it all to you but if my id is stolen, will you cancel my debt? (Or just charge whoever stole it)