Being Single and a Good Wife
Single women like myself are often feeling left out when it comes to conversations about marriage relationships and wedding ceremonies. We feel like we would be fine if it were not for the nagging feeling that we will never experience that quintessential moment of womanhood: walking down the isle. Whether we prefer traditional weddings or out-there Las Vegas ceremonies, we still want to enjoy that Cinderella moment.
(Many men have proposed to me, by the way. Unfortunately, they have all been gay. I got a proposal just this past Saturday night! No lie!)
I know that I feel bad because even nuns get a special ceremony in which they marry Jesus, comeplete with a wedding band! I found this out when I was in high school and the next day I found a ring in the PE area. I felt it was a special token from God so I picked it up and put it on. It wasn't a ring anyone would miss- it was plastic. I didn't wear it for long but kept it tucked away. But I lost it. Then, years later, after some terrible heartbreak I suffered (from sheer stupidity), I found an actual metal ring in Manhattan as I walked away from the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. I still have that one. I felt God was saying, "Men will break your heart but I never will."
These days, I know that I still can count on that promise. In fact, being a Christian is a committment to God not unlike marriage. Some people are well aware of that and make the correct preparations. A sister whose baptism I witnessed was dressed in a flowing white dress when she was dunked in the Pacific ocean. I was wearing black OP shorts for mine.
I know that I can forget this committment to Christ is like a marriage and that I have marital duties to fulfill, not unlike a "real" wife. In the Bible unmarried Paul says, "for we are members of his body. 'For this reason reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 30-32) Did you ever stop to think about the ramifications of what he meant?
I know I sort of glossed over it myself but in reality, married men and women have certain duties to fulfill. A woman is willing to be totally possessed and will also seek out her man, who is willing as well to be united in this way (The Bible, in 1 Corinthians 7:5 says to not deprive each other of this). How do we then fulfill this as Christians? What is this profound mystery? I think that when we want to give our bodies to be possessed by God (the husband), we are fulfilling Romans 12:1- "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship." And in order to fulfill the seeking out part, we need to be aware of Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh". To be "one flesh" with God, we need to be united with the body of Christ (God), which is the church. ("Christ is the head of the chruch, his body"- Ephesians 5:23b.) We need to be unified, to be loving, caring and aware of the needs of the body of Christ- the church. Otherwise we are neglecting our duties as spouses.
I know all that might sound a little strage but think about it! Isn't it true? And don't you feel better when you are fulfilling these Scriptures insetead of being selfish? No one likes a cold spouse. When we don't do these things we are being cold and unloving toward God, our husband.
For me, being a woman who longs to be a bride, I love reading Hosea 2:14, "'Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the dersert and speak tenderly to her,'" and 2:16, "'In that day,' declares the LORD, , 'you will call me "my husband"; and you will no longer call me "my master"' and again 2:19, "I will betroth you to me forever', I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compaision. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD."
Now you know what to ask me about when you see me. Am I being a good wife?
(Many men have proposed to me, by the way. Unfortunately, they have all been gay. I got a proposal just this past Saturday night! No lie!)
I know that I feel bad because even nuns get a special ceremony in which they marry Jesus, comeplete with a wedding band! I found this out when I was in high school and the next day I found a ring in the PE area. I felt it was a special token from God so I picked it up and put it on. It wasn't a ring anyone would miss- it was plastic. I didn't wear it for long but kept it tucked away. But I lost it. Then, years later, after some terrible heartbreak I suffered (from sheer stupidity), I found an actual metal ring in Manhattan as I walked away from the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. I still have that one. I felt God was saying, "Men will break your heart but I never will."
These days, I know that I still can count on that promise. In fact, being a Christian is a committment to God not unlike marriage. Some people are well aware of that and make the correct preparations. A sister whose baptism I witnessed was dressed in a flowing white dress when she was dunked in the Pacific ocean. I was wearing black OP shorts for mine.
I know that I can forget this committment to Christ is like a marriage and that I have marital duties to fulfill, not unlike a "real" wife. In the Bible unmarried Paul says, "for we are members of his body. 'For this reason reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 30-32) Did you ever stop to think about the ramifications of what he meant?
I know I sort of glossed over it myself but in reality, married men and women have certain duties to fulfill. A woman is willing to be totally possessed and will also seek out her man, who is willing as well to be united in this way (The Bible, in 1 Corinthians 7:5 says to not deprive each other of this). How do we then fulfill this as Christians? What is this profound mystery? I think that when we want to give our bodies to be possessed by God (the husband), we are fulfilling Romans 12:1- "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship." And in order to fulfill the seeking out part, we need to be aware of Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh". To be "one flesh" with God, we need to be united with the body of Christ (God), which is the church. ("Christ is the head of the chruch, his body"- Ephesians 5:23b.) We need to be unified, to be loving, caring and aware of the needs of the body of Christ- the church. Otherwise we are neglecting our duties as spouses.
I know all that might sound a little strage but think about it! Isn't it true? And don't you feel better when you are fulfilling these Scriptures insetead of being selfish? No one likes a cold spouse. When we don't do these things we are being cold and unloving toward God, our husband.
For me, being a woman who longs to be a bride, I love reading Hosea 2:14, "'Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the dersert and speak tenderly to her,'" and 2:16, "'In that day,' declares the LORD, , 'you will call me "my husband"; and you will no longer call me "my master"' and again 2:19, "I will betroth you to me forever', I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compaision. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD."
Now you know what to ask me about when you see me. Am I being a good wife?
posted by Spleengrrl @ 10:42 AM
4 Comments:
At 6:17 PM,
RV3 said…
I haven't recently proposed to Wendy but have in the past...
At 11:23 PM,
Kathy said…
no disrespect, but was I reading that right? did your piece kind of turn up a notch or two toward the end?
At 3:12 PM,
Spleengrrl said…
You got me! I felt it so I wrote it!
At 7:27 PM,
waldocarmona said…
Marriage in the secular world, doesn't seem as appealing or at least that's not what the media would like us to believe. People seem to be always fighting, or at least maybe the men are always afriad of their wives. I had just watched an episode of one of my favorite sit coms "The King of Queens" in which the wife gets mad at the husband because she got bad service at an intalian restaurant and he never supports her so she asks him not to go back. Problem is that the husband loves that place and can't stay away. Ironically two commercials aired in the same 1/2 hour the one in which the guy orders pizza from Dominoe's but says he is "afraid of change" presumably because his wife always makes him order the same thing. Then there was another commercial in which the couple argue over which color or kind of a product, I forget what the ad was pushing but the voice over says, "how will they choose." and implies that the husband can't get his way, "Depends on where he wants to sleep tonight" the narrator says while we see a split screen of a comfy bed juxtaposed to a doghouse. Ouch! I don't know about a christian wedding, but secular marriage doesn't sound all that fun.
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