Roots

If you've never been drunk yourself or seen anyone under the influence, you may not know what alcohol can do to a person as far as the kind of stuff they start to ramble on about in their slurred speech. Well, today I got to hear some ancient family history. It seems my father had an argument with his older brother the last time they saw each other at the latter's new property upstate. My dad says his brother believes their father is the one to be revered from their parents, possibly because my grandfather was a doctor and a famous poet back in the old country.

Well, my dad constantly talks about the alpha females in our family tree and I think he respects these matriarchs who took it upon themselves to make something of their family before their men (dreamers, drunks and others made of flimsy stuff) dragged them all down. My dad always says that his maternal grandfather is the greatest man he ever knew but he admits the man had a lot of flaws. He says that outwardly it would have appeared as though his grandma was submissive to the point of birthing sixteen offspring for him but that in actuality, she made sure he didn't get taken adantage of in his business and other such things.

He was a jewler and a talented chemist who had the ability to make breathtakingly beautiful things like pink gold. But all he craved was the admiration of people for his artistry while the wife made sure to charge what his creations were really worth. My dad recalls a rich old bat once showing up to the jewelry store with something she had bought in Italy but was causing problems at home because her young daughter wanted one like it - some kind of brooch. She figured she'd take it to him, my great-grandfather, to see if he could perhaps make something "similar". He looked at it and said "Yes, come back in a week." My dad said that this is where the artist came out: he did not eat nor did he care if his children ate. He was determined to make this thing. Well, when the lady came back, he put down two identical items and asked if she knew which was hers. She said, "Honestly, no." He replied, "I do. Yours was 14 karats and mine is 22." At this point my great-grandmother had to step in and charge a pretty penny for such work. Otherwise, they would not have gotten anything for it because all he cared about was the look of astonishment on everyone's faces.

As for my grandparents, I think that my uncle doesn't have as much respect and admiration for his mom as he does for his dad because he left for the US in 1954 and now what he has are all his father's poems and nothing to show for my grandmother's contribution to the world. Well, he's stupid because he is one of her contributions: she sent him to the US with her own money. Her husband, my grandfather, had descended into alcoholism and was in the gutter whereas she was at the height of society. She worked very hard to make something of her children and produced an engineer, a doctor and the VP of a Wells Fargo Bank.

I loved them both very much. I just remember them as my grandparents, not as a drunk (he'd stopped drinking) or a matriarch but as a loving pair of elderly adults who bestowed me with kisses and hugs and encouragement and wisdom. I do recall his poems and I did see how she ran a tight ship while at the same time always respecting him and supporting him as a dutiful wife.

I hate how things end in death for everyone, however. They are dead now. The great-grandparents have been dead for thirty-seven years and I never met them. Two days ago my 28-year-old cousin died from cancer. And today, I had to help put together the outfit my great-aunt will be buried in when she dies, which apparently everyone expects will be very soon. She is 92 and a little senile. She's also a second mother to me and my greatest source of love and I will always carry her inside me. She will be buried in a cream-colored suit, as cream was her favorite color. (She wasn't wild, you know, she's still a virgin.) I am not sure what my legacy will be but if I'm anything like any one of them, I will have made a difference.