Smells Like Teen Spirit

We all know that scents can bring us memories or trigger emotions. Some scents are even purported to cause people to become turned on (case in point: the perfume Realm is supposed to contain human pheramones to do just that: attract the opposite sex).

In the 80s the power scent for women in shoulder pads everywhere was Christian Dior's Poison. By the nineties the perfume was considered passe and a new, supposedly softer version was created (Tendre Poison, which smelled foul). It's now five years into the two-thousands and Poison has again reinvented itself (as Pure Poison and Hypnotic Poison), and again I long for the original. So what if it recalls Reaganomics and cocaine-induced power orgies? It smells darn good!

The perfume Tresor tends to remind me of my brother's high school sweetheart but it was really the first expensive perfume I ever bought and one day he asked me, "What's a nice perfume?" and when I told him I loved Tresor, he got it for her! I'm one that believes in signature scents and so that ws a big glitch. I had to leave Tresor behind. I then moved on to several others, trying to find the right one. I bought Fred Hayman's Touch, Elizabeth Taylor's Diamonds and Emeralds, Paloma Picaso's Il Baccio, and my favorite, United Colors of Benetton's Tribu which is no longer being made as most of those others. And of course in the 90s I bought CK1 life half the world which is why no one wears it anymore.

So then I decided to give up on perfumes (especially after the gag-inducing Deci-Dela incident which taught me to never buy a pefume based on those scented magazine ads- they lie!) and went for a more natural approach- body oils. But even before those goth days of hanging out at Perversion were over, I had stopped dabbing on Patchoulli. But there were still some good oils out there.

After a while I realized I wanted to smell like a flower. But which flower? Today I have solved the problem by becoming a walking garden. I sport the scents of rose, gardenias, hyacinths, jasmine, tuberose, lily, magnolia, lotus, sweetpea, sweet violet and sunflower. I do this by combining every flowery lotion, creme, body mist/oil spray, rosewater, and body oil I own. Some girls who like these things as opposed to perfume go for fruity smells but I hate them. They smell nice and all but I don't take well to them. I do however wear the crystal roll-on rather than antipersperant because it's so bad for you! I don't suffer from BO really so it's not a big deal.

My biggest problem right now is having bees follow me. My signature scent- garden- is like Realm for the bees.

As for men's colognes, I've worn those too and love them but maybe that's considered butch. I'd rather smell sweet and flowery.

By the way, I've been swimming daily and yesterday a good looking athletic guy kept flirting with me and it was distracting because #1, I'm there to work out and #2, I don't date outside my church. (Why not? you ask? Well, it doesn't make sense. I don't want those nasty "Why are you dragging our children off to worship a figment of your imagination?" confrontations.) I hope he's not there today because I'm keeping my 110 lb.-ideal weight and toned arms.