Ice Princessess

Project Runway did not let me down this week. I was entertained as always watching our designers struggle with a difficult challenge and was then pleased to see the drama unfold on the runway.

It all started with Heidi Klum welcoming them and asking, “Are you ready for your next challenge? Well, too bad. Because you won’t be finding out today. You will each receive a package with all the information you need.”

Next they proceeded to eliminate a couple of models—the two from last week’s “losing team” (Marla/Diana). Then they went back to their rooms.

They then began to speculate on what the challenge would be. Santino hoped he could design a chicken suit.

Soon a “mysterious” person in a U.S. Mail carrier’s outfit started to knock on doors. I knew right away, even though we could only see him from behind, that it was Robert Plotnik from last season—I recognized the pony tail. I was like, “Doesn’t he have better things to do than to deliver packages for Project Runway?” I guess not.

The first people he surprised recognized him but Emmett had a blank look on his face and Robert actually pushed the issue, saying, “You don’t recognize me, do you?” He was affable about it but I thought it was kind of funny, like he felt these newbies should be paying their respects. Oh, well!

Next, the designers furiously tore open packages that revealed…ugly stretchy shirts? They then realized by reading Tim Gunn’s letter that they had to put on the offensive outfits and meet him at the lobby. The men are hilarious the way they pair their gay poofy shirts with crazy hats. The women are wearing tiny skirts. They are going ice skating!

The challenge is laid out: Olympic ice skater Sasha Cohen needs an outfit to wear. They have to design one that is not only eye-catching and pretty but functional. Ice skaters are serious athletes who bend, jump, twirl and salchow their way to a medal. So the fabric must stretch and bend with them, Sasha explained, and she is also very concerned about her panties staying on. (That sets her apart from, say, Tonya Harding.)

The designers and Tim Gunn are then given a free ice skating “lesson” from Sasha which consists of them doing a conga line. Some of them skate well though they are certainly not Olympic contenders while others, including Tim, are stiff and scared. It’s good for a laugh but it’s no “Skating with Celebrities”.

Back to reality, the contestants are told they cannot change from their ridiculous outfits but have to go shopping for materials. Suddenly minimalists like Zulema find themselves buying glitter and sequins for the first time. Meanwhile, trim junkie Santino is stocking up on feathers and I wonder if he’s making a chicken suit after all.

At Parsons studios the contestants let us, the viewers, in on the fact that it’s nearly impossible to sew stretch fabric without an overlock machine. Unfortunately, they had trouble with them. Selflessly, Andrae fixed it in and sacrificed a lot of his first day on the challenge for the sake of the machine.

Right away, Santino was his usual mean self and rolled his eyes at Kara’s design. As if his chicken suit was any better. Actually, he realized that it was going to grate on the judges and he even imitated Michael Kors saying, “It looks like a baboon exploded from behind.” Good assessment.

Emmett picked some navy fabric that Tim Gunn saw as too dark. He told Zulema her sketch seemed ambitious but beautiful.(It was inspired by Swan Lake and was white and intricate). Kara’s he felt was too safe. Then he told Santino that he was pushing it again and he felt that when the time came to defend his design he had better be less, “F*** you.”

So off they went at midnight. The next day they were back and the machine broke again but it wasn’t super dramatic like you might have expected. Eventually they got the models dressed and ready for action.

On the runway, the designers were dressed as ice skaters again and of course Sasha Cohen was there to judge. The show started and we saw white, turquoise, glitter, glam and feathers.

Safe: Daniel, Nick, Andrae. Not safe yet: Santino, Zulema, Chloe, Kara and Emmett.

The contestants who are left are asked to explain their designs. Kara says she was inspired by the Roaring 20s and “All That Jazz” but Sasha Cohen doesn’t like the fringe skirt. Chloe is praised not only for her innovative use of turquoise, a color not seen on the ice very often, but also for her unique design. Emmett’s design is pronounced both “dowdy” and “vulgar” at the same time. It’s dowdy from the top but the skirt is way too short. Also, Emmett’s design is plain and boring.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Santino’s chicken suit, otherwise known as “The Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes”. Let’s just say even Santino’s model doesn’t believe in it. She told him it was “too much” when she was putting it on. Needless to say the judges weren’t happy with it. Santino was informed that he did not think of his customer, Sasha Cohen, when he designed this outfit. Some liked the front but the back was just nothing but feathers tacked on. It was a mess.

Heidi Klum had Sasha Cohen announce the winner…..Congratulations, Zulema! I was proud of her as she had never used sequins and such but her design was not tacky. It was elegant, stunning and “new”. (It was also slightly “nude” but that was just an illusion). Chloe looked disappointed but I do think Zulema’s was much prettier. Chloe’s did look slightly piñata-ish.

So it was down to two: Emmett the boring exploitative or Santino the over-the-top lunatic.

Drumroll….

…..and it’s good-bye Emmett. As he left the runway he turned to them and said, “Was it the shirt?” referring to his crazy pink ice skating number. It was cute.

Also unexpected was Santino, who left first when he was told he was “in”, turning and saying quietly, “Sorry, Emmett.”

Is he becoming human before our eyes??? (He doesn’t look human. According to “Best Week Ever”, which named “Project Runway” the “Best Show on Television”, Santino looks like a cross between Jesus and General Zod.)