Mmmm....Rummy

Naughty me. I went to 7-11 on my morning break as usual but I got something terribly decadent- ice cream. Mind you, I am a “salt” person who eats lots of pickles and puts mustard on popcorn and have been forever. I could never understand women’s passion for chocolate or any other kind of sweet and fattening treat for that matter. But lately I have had the unfortunate metabolic chemical change of pallet and now I am turning into a Cookie Monster myself.

The good thing is I am faithful to my exercise regimen, I take walks during my afternoon breaks and I love to tap my feet. Don’t laugh. Studies show that Americans with sedentary jobs like mine need to be foot-tappers because those who just sit there like a lump of dough (COOKIE dough) tend to be fat, while their restless counterparts can burn up to 100 calories a day from fidgeting and generally being a poster child for Ritalin. Now I have good reason to scowl at people who put their hand on my leg to keep me from tapping. Good manners? Who needs them if it just makes you fat! An added bonus on my part is I have plenty of excess energy to burn as I abstain (by choice) from sex. A-hem.

I also try to be good and buy light ice cream. Haagen-Dazs makes really delicious you-can’t-believe-it’s-not-super-fattening ice cream. Unfortunately, those flavors are limited but fortuitously they do make Dulce de Leche- a heavenly treat I can’t deny myself of. But I bought the last tub a few days ago here at my local across-the-street-from-work 7-11 and so now I am eating regular. Their other light flavors don’t appeal to me at all except perhaps S’mores. But they have other such vomit-enducing things as Cherry Chocolate Truffle and Mint Chip- yech! In a pinch I’d buy Vanilla Bean but even I have my limitations as to how boring I want my life to be.


So what did I buy? RUM RAISIN! I could not resist- it looked too good.

Other hazards that I encounter going on walks during my breaks: being attacked from above. One time I was walking and felt something strike my thigh. I quickly ran up a few feet to avoid being directly underneath whatever it was that had pummeled me. I turned around and saw a crow on the telephone wires. So I went back to examine what I thought looked like a piece of fruit. It was a FISH HEAD.

I also get stopped by men who offer rides. One man who stopped next to me as I was on my way home from a long walk looked pretty harmless, almost like a Mormon. So perhaps he saw me dazed and tired (I was walking not just for exercise that day but to clear my head of certain troubles). He probably wanted to be a Good Samaritan. OR…he was a lunatic and they would have ended up having to feature me on “Cold Case Files” as the victim and hopefully some detective would never give up on me and they’d find my skeleton under the “Good Samaritan’s” floorboards. (Yes, stuff like that ACTUALLY goes through my head.)
By the way, the Rum Raisin is delish but I feel slightly buzzed!