America's Next Top Pretty "Boy"

I’m here at the office but not at work. My mechanic, who works on credit, has his shop right down the street so I brought the car in and I’m here just to have a place to wait. (Can’t afford a rental, you know!) I have food here (Haagen-Dazs and trail mix), drinks (Diet Pepsi, water, my herbal medicinal teas, Sweet N Low) and bathroom facilities. I also have a nice blanket a co-worker knitted for me. It is kind of chilly! And, the Internet, and Internet radio.

I would have taken the car to the shop yesterday, when I was here for work, but we were much too busy. Frances was on Instructional Paraprofessional duty yesterday as she used to be one and they had her outside (all week, actually) with the P.E. class. Our dean called in sick so there was no one to take me and bring me back from the mechanic’s. So I didn’t get to go. And it might be the transmission.

Yesterday one of the teachers asked me if this applicant that came in was a man or woman. “Woman,” I said. “That’s scary,” she replied. I couldn’t believe her! Yes, the applicant was butch but this teacher must never has looked in the mirror! I can’t believe people are so clueless. First of all, the applicant is thin, dresses sort of punk chic (with short hair and piercings and men’s clothes) and is very pretty. But this teacher has short hair, wears masculine clothing and is overweight and plain. So for her to say this woman was scary (who is actually pretty except she’s probably not trying to attract any men with her style) is the pot calling the kettle black! I hope she never reads this because I’m not trying to hurt her feelings but she is supposedly straight so if she’s concerned about getting married she really should be more aware of the way she looks. This other woman probably has no shortage of love offers, male or female. (And it helps that she’s young. Ah, to be young!!)

Isn’t it funny how straight men have such a totally different idea of what beauty and fashion-forward attractiveness is as compared to gay men and straight women? (I’m leaving out lesbians because I’m not sure except I don’t think it’s quite the same as straight men at all.) Yoanna, winner of America’s Next Top Model, had an “edgy” short-hair look. But would she get men drooling? Probably not. Straight men like the Pam Anderson look better- large breasts, long hair, red lipstick, tacky slutty clothing. A runway model is so different from a Playboy centerfold! I was actually surprised that it’s a woman who has been behind Playboy’s creative side for years. She’s somehow an expert at what men want to see. I always thought skin rags and porn were men’s fantasies. They are so far off the mark on what women want. Obviously, these are all generalizations. Some women love that look perhaps? Some women love “straight-men’s” porn, perhaps? Whatever. I just know that men who take their cues from films like that are usually clueless.

But I thought of all that because of the Yoanna-like applicant and our not-so-fashion-forward-quite-butch-though-maybe-not-on-purpose teacher who criticized her. Women like the applicant are just one step away from being a pretty boy. Which is why a gay friend of mine and I once fought over a “guy” (who was sitting sort of far from us and had a slight trace of mustache in our defense) at Little Frida’s who turned out to have barely-there-but-there breasts. Oops!