Love at the Door

UPS came to the door an hour ago. (I'm off today because I worked Saturday.) It was a small package addressed to me. This was inside:

The bracelet you see dangling from my tiny wrist sports SHINING LIKE STARS and Philippians 2:15 (which reads "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe"). These bracelets were handed out at the big Sunday service in Arizona on the last day of the retreat. I saw Nathan from above (I was sitting in balcony seats) and followed him. It was kind of a mob scene for the glow-in-the-dark bracelets and he said, "I can get you one. I'll give it to you when you come back down." (I had told him I needed to go back up to make sure I didn't lose track of my ride.) Well, it took forever so when I did come down, he was gone or I couldn't find him. He told me later on that he got me one but didn't see me and didn't want to hang on to two of them because they were short on them so he gave it to someone. He also said he didn't wear his, though it was a special memento and it just hung on his wall.

The box also had a card in which lovely thoughts were expressed. You should see my face! I bet I look really goofy.....

Sweet Squeeze

Wore the purple dress again today, exactly a week later. We had our annual "Thanksgiving" Foster Parent Appreciation Luncheon today. The dress was a smash hit and the event kind of flew by. Sometimes it seems interminable.

What is really going to be interminable are the next three months because that's at least how long I've got to wait until I see Nate again, since he's going to Virginia to see his dad and stepmom for his vaction (which had already been planned). He's now looking at February as the earliest time he can get out here. He said he'd like to be here for Valentine's Day and when I asked what he wanted to do here, he said, "Spend quality time with Wendy." I'm all for that! He is definitely a good friend to be around.

Actually, a good friend of mine said to me last night that she has family in Arizona and that if she goes over there to see them I can come along. I said Sure, when? And she said, "For Thanksgiving." While that's a very tempting offer, seeing him twice in one month, I wonder if it would be overkill? I'd have to feel that one out, don't want to make him feel chased after. I don't have this anticipation about it because I have a feeling she probably won't even go. But she did say she'd like to take me there and meet him, if not now then in January. So I may see him pretty soon yet! Meanwhile, we'll just continue calling and texting and writing letters. I got one from him next day after I got back and he had written that my being there was for him like "a surprise birthday party or Christmas in November." How sweet! For me it was like a warm hug. Oh, and thank you God! Thanks for all my warm hugs.....

Back Again

Just got back from Arizona. I had a really good time and just as I predicted, it was very hard to say goodbye to Nathan.

For anyone who does not know the story, he's someone I met at our church's Singles retreat this year. We had it in Arizona this time. He has lived there most of his life, though he was born in Japan due to his dad being in the Air Force and he also lived in other parts of the country briefly. His grandmother is Hawaiian but he's never been there. He's a very quiet and reserved person. I don't mind.

We don't really have a great deal in common but as I told one of his friends this weekend (one of the women I stayed with), I realized that it was silly to look for someone exactly like myself. I said, "Do I really love myself that much that I need to be with someone exactly like me?" I've learned a lot from Nathan. Of course, though I just finished typing about "being with someone" I am in no way implying that we are some kind of item. We are still just friends. That's actually okay. No matter what happens I am just quite glad and very honored to have met him and become his friend. He's certainly one of the kindest people I've ever met. And I found out this weekend that he's very loved and appreciated by a lot of people! They all kept telling me what a "good guy" he is, how caring and how deep. I was very moved by all they had to say because it showed me all the more that he's a great guy.

Back to Sunny Arizona

Well, I'm headed for McCain country. Sort of, anyway....I'm off to Arizona tomorrow at noon- God willing- and today I have spent time preparing. I went to get a manicure and pedicure and the flat-screen TVs at the nail spa had CNN on. There was a lot of celebrating going on today, including in Obama, Japan, where people apparently supported Preside-Elect Obama for no other discernable reason than his name. (I was certainly glad to have been a part of making history!)

Apparently it's still quite warm in Arizona. I am going with my friend Heather and her boyfriend Diego. They are staying in different houses from one another, needless to say (since they are Christians), but I am staying in yet another household myself. Two of my sisters-in-Christ whom I've never met are putting me up for a few days. They live closer to my friend Nathan and he is, after all, the reason I am going at all. When we get to Arizona on Thursday, he's meeting us and I will probably go with him to his Bible study group, which meets Thursday nights. I'm not sure if I will have a chance to change or not. Since we're driving out there I plan to be very comfortable, probably in either denim capris or an oversized Superman t-shirt I just got from Nick.

Friday I will probably alone most of the day. Everyone will be at work. That night, however, I will don my brand-new purple Esley dress I got in Little Tokyo and Heather, Diego, Nathan and I will go to a mixer. I know there's an art walk and I am not sure what else is in the plan. Saturday Nathan will pick me up around noon and we will go to a festival with hot air balloons and food and entertainment. We will also have dinner on that night. Saturday is our date. Sunday, of course, is church. I will be going to Nathan's church service and because Heather is staying an hour away she will attend our church's services in that area. At some point we will meet up....I'm not sure who is driving me or picking me up for this. Maybe Nathan will drive me. I just know parting will be hard. Ah, well. I am not sure what the future holds but I know that we cherish each other's friendship.

Yesterday

Yesterday, the world got a little darker.

Yesterday, one of the most special people to ever live departed this world.

Yesterday, a woman who helped raise me and a lot of other people who benefitted from her pure love, died at age 93.

She was unmarried and had no physical children. Though she died a virgin she actually had several "children", me included.

I couldn't do her justice by attempting to write about her. There is nothing I can really say to illustrate how bright her light shined. I just know she taught me about selfless love, about kindness and gentleness, about charity and her convictions about serving and worshipping God have shaped my own spirituality.

Yesterday I lost a piece of my soul by the name of Aura Estella "Estelita" Santos.

Still Sunny in September

It's been a laid-back sort of day today, and that's kind of boring. I have half a mind to go someplace but don't really have any ideas. Mr. Julie seems antsy and is fighting with invisible enemies. Or maybe there's a bug there I can't see.

I had breakfast with a friend, which I totally enjoyed. She had lots to say, lots to teach me by way of her own experiences. I was glad she decided to work on building our friendship because we're not very close. I also had lunch with two of my brothers and one of them treated. Sushi, yay!

I have things to do tomorrow, namely ushering at our church's special Men's Day event. I get to dress up. Actually, I just remembered I don't have a white blouse to wear! I'd better go look for one or go buy one at Target.

I talked to my friend in Arizona for a couple of hours in the backyard with the birds chirping gaily and butterflies fluttering about. And no, I'm not making that up, that's really how it was.

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Last week something happened which affected me emotionally because it had to do with my family. I was very depressed about it and my immediate reaction was that I shouldn't even go to church anymore because I felt that I was obviously not growing spiritually, that I was still this wretch of a sinner.

Still, I went that Sunday. Sure, I left right away. But I also read the Bible regardless of how I felt and all the doubts that swirled in my heart and mind. I made sure to tell people how I was feeling and ask for their help. I also went to church on Thursday. By Saturday things had very much settled down not only in that aspect (with my family) but also I had stopped feeling doubtful and was resolved to stay in church. The great thing is I had arranged to meet with a friend from church (a "sister in Christ") who unbeknownst to me was going through almost exact cirmcumstances and struggles with family. I was very encouraged to know it wasn't just me and that I could overcome this. She was very generous in her words of encouragement to me. Later that day I also got together with my best friend from church and she also had kind words for me and praised my willingness to work on my character and not give up (and my honesty about wanting to).

All in all I came out of it feeling better than ever. And today at church I was even more encouraged when a sister I don't know well at all approached me about wanting to really build a friendship with me and saying that she knew she could learn from me because I've been faithful for nearly 10 years. So we're having breakfast Saturday barring her having to work. I am very happy that God saw to it that I received these special gentle words and also that I resolved something with two other dear friends, one of whom I haven't seen in a long time and I worry about a great deal. He has really shown me how much He cares even when I think all is lost.

Also, I have been communicating with someone I met in Arizona during my trip out there and feel greatly inspired by that. I won't say more except it's a wonderful life!